Friday, August 26, 2011

'Last Day - Switch' - James' Blog Post

We already wrote tonight, and I don't feel like adding much. This is one of our boyfriends last entries on his blog, where he writes about what it's like to be with us. It's a fairly new thing and He's back in the UK now, after staying with us for a month; but he's moving here, and will hopefully be back in 4-6 weeks, when he will continue to write. It's good for him to write, and it's good for us that he writes. It's not easy for him to be in a relationship with us, we know...but we're pretty sure he's a brave bastard, and some of us love him for that.

This is part one, we guess, of a two part blog post that we are importing from his blog.

Last Day - Switch
Post is about my last full day (Sunday 21st August) with Frankie till I return in a few weeks time.
[Edit]: As it turned out I spent a lot of Monday with them too. I'll include both days though some of this may cross over as I forget what event (I mean things we did together) happened on what day.

I spent Sunday with several alters all wanting to spend time with me on this, our last full day. It was wonderful but made the day very confusing (only because I am trying so hard to work out who's here which isn't always approved of) not to mention give them a big headache (literally) which is a common side effect of switching. Today I spent time with Melody, Cassandra, Catherine and Frank. Whilst I didn't get to spend any time directly with Bethany it was evident that she was there just under the surface so to speak. Because of this though I did mistake Bethany for Cassandra based on two very Bethany like actions.

I spent the some of Sunday morning with Melody. Melody is someone that doesn't usually like to be "executive" and prefers to sit in the background. Her role in the collective is to keep some sort of order and stability. In order to do this she remains neutral meaning she can't allow herself to have feelings for people or anything else. She does not want feelings and emotions to cloud or influence decisions. Melody has done so much for me and I have a lot to thank her for. She said something that broke my heart; it was after I worked out who she was -though to play safe I asked her to break the rules and tell me her name- she said "I'll try not to be around much". I told her that I didn't want her to go and that I liked her being here. I rarely got to spend time with her and I wanted her to know that she could be here any time she liked. I think she felt I'd prefer to be "with" someone that could express feelings and be more "loving" towards me. Of course that's not true. Melody did stick around for most of the morning though I should point out that they don't always have a say in that. Melody is 12 years old but is so much wiser than her years.
I decided that today there are no rules so I called Melody by here name. It was the first time she has ever been called by her name (until two weeks ago when I called Cassandra by her name, none of them had). I have to be careful as I have got there names wrong on occasion and as I mentioned, today was especially difficult so I did ask Melody to tell me her name first. You know sometimes you can be 100% sure on something till one little niggle creeps in; well this was one of those times but it was good that I was right.

Once again my memory is failing and I can't remember many details about my time with the others. I'm sorry girls. Please don't think it's because I like Melody more it's just my notes for that day only went so far. I know it was Cassandra then Frank and Catherine at the end, in fact I probably spent most time with Catherine. I could tell straight away when they switched but when Cassandra was there Bethany was too and because certain words were used and reactions (e.g. I had to sort out an er... awkward moment causing them to look down at my crotch which provoked a giggle and their hands went to their face) I thought it must be Bethany. I spent the next several minutes talking to them and making references to things Bethany did and we could do again but whilst those few instances were Bethany it was Cassandra I was with. I forget what the prompt was but something made me realise I'd got it wrong. I felt awful but I think Cassandra could see why I got it wrong.
I didn't know how long each was going to be around for so I made a point of telling them I love them, using their name and to reassure them that I would be back as soon as I was able.

I have to be honest now and they have already commented about it but when Frank was there I was very very happy to "see" her. Frank hadn't been around much the last few days and I really had missed her. I asked Frank if she was able to control things if she could be the one to see me off at the airport even though I know this will upset some of the others. But Frank is different. I love them all so much... [left unfinished]

I spent much of the rest of the day with Catherine and had a really lovely time with her. We watched films together... I have had to pause here as the events of Saturday night are blurring into my memory of Sunday...  I wish I could remember more details.
All in all it was a wonderful, albeit emotional day. I felt very much loved and love them for all wanting to spend time with me. I wish it didn't cause them headaches though.

I was going to include Monday here too but I think this is more than enough so I'll try and write Monday as a separate post though it will be hard to write. Even now I'm close to tears thinking about it. As a spoiler I will say that I got to finally spend time with Ivy. Thank you Frankie for making this a wonderful day and for all the words you said to me to make me feel better and try and cheer me up.

You can read a little more about the specific alters on their mapping blog

Frank ... Yes, for those unaware, Frank is an alter, not just the name for the collective. To clarify, when referring to "them", they are Frankie. Frank is the one who is here most of the time as is "in charge" overall though does not have her own section on the mapping site as so much of what is written is by her anyway.

[copied from the original location

Other Stuff from James' Blog

1 comment:

  1. "It's not easy for him to be in a relationship with us, we know"
    My Angel, I love you. We've had the odd bad moment but then nothing worse than any couple and it was such a small fraction compared to how great our time together was. Being in a relationship with you is so easy. I love you. You're wonderful. You're amazing. You make me so happy. I can't wait to be there again and start our life together proper, knowing I get to wake with you every single morning, never wanting to (needing to) leave you again. I love you my Franky.