Wednesday, August 10, 2011

We Get A New Job & James Meets Fuck Face

So, first off WE GOT A NEW JOB!
We’re not going to disclose too much because we know people who think its okay to try to ruin our life, or at least stick their fingers in it and/or judge us are reading, so we’ll be vague for at least the first 60 or so shifts. Why? Because that’s how long our probation at the new job lasts. Why is that important? Because after that it is gonna be a hellava hard to fucking fire us, that’s why…we landed a stable union job, baby!
First of all, yes, some unions are complete shit…but some are also good. We got on with a good union position. Plus we’re making $2.60 an hour more than the last job, we have less responsibly, AND we get a week and a half off at Christmas AND mandatory layoffs for the summer, which means that we will collect unemployment for about 4 months a year and have time through the summer to focus heavily on writing, painting, and travel...then work through the winter months.
We really couldn't be happier. We’re pretty much convinced at this point that those cunts that fired us did nothing for us but a huge favour.
So there you go, we've had a nice three week or so vacation where we got to spend time with James (@mr_jmm) and now we start a new job in five days.
P.S. our new job involves working with knives every single day…but sorry, not nearly enough time to Tweet, though once we get the groove of it we’ll likely have some regularly schedule Twitter contact. We'll be here regularly the minute we clock off though.
On another note, speaking of James…
James got to meet Fuck Face today, face to face and have drinks with him. He had a short meet with him last week where no words were exchanged, so we figure that didn't count. On the way there we talked with him about it being okay to speak him mind, because honestly, Fuck Face is okay with people speaking their mind, loves a good debate and we knew that no matter what was said, both parties could take it.
“If you say mean things to him”, we said as we walked towards downtown, hand in hand with James, “I’ll let you tie us up tonight and do anything you want to us” (not that most of us wouldn’t anyway, but not all…because, well…James has met some of us and he knows some of us wouldn't take kind to that sort of thing).
Seeing as how we sweetened the pot for him we figured at least once he’d let a “cunt” or “twat” drop in the conversation. Just the though of James saying something rude to him made us ... excited.
Of course we knew better…even people who though he was a terrible manager didn’t hate him. Nobody hates him after they have met him. He is a charming little devil.
Fast forward through a couple hours of drinking and conversation, we say our goodbyes, we tell Fuck Face to keep in touch for drinks whenever, and James and us walk in the opposite direction of the bar to the liquor store to pick up a little something for the walk home.
“I thought you were going to be mean to him” we say [that’s a paraphrase to be certain]
James is upset…”Why was he so nice to me?” he says. “If only he had smirked, or said something wrong…”
We explain to him that for one, that’s why he is such a dangerous man…because he is a nice person and even if he is not nice-nice, he's a charming fuck…we knew he was being him…there was not one thing about his behaviour that seemed off or fake, we could tell he liked James, that he legitimately thought James was a nice guy. Seriously, if a guy is going to laugh about you and his girlfriend coming up with a new version of TurDuckEn, except using babies, teenagers and fat old men…well…you gotta respect that the guy, the boyfriend, is more of a kindred spirit than you imagined.
James is a lot like Fuck Face, but better in uncountable amount of ways…(if you ask a few, if not most, of us anyway)…But let’s not get fucking soppy here.
We explained to James that Fuck Face was nice to him because he is our friend, no matter what the nay sayers out there who have read our story about him say, he is our friend, we are not THAT terrible of a judge of character to be off base about this. We could see in his face that he can tell that James is actually a perfect fit for us, and that because he is our friend he was legitiamitely happy for us. Sorry to disappoint people, but we’ve said all along, yes, he is a fucking bastard…but he is our friend, and he has good qualities, and might even care about our welfare beyond his own means (though...he is a guy...and we know where he'd like his "means" to be). Bleh., We digress…we’ve had a bit to drink and we are totally defensive about people who have had to deal with us this year, and stuck around without some sort of bullshit like this last weeks "intervention" e-mail. Whatever. We know who to keep in our life, even if they've fucked us over...some people, especially those who have dealt with all of us on some level...some people are worth a second chance.
Poor James was beside himself…”We have to have drinks with him again. I WILL call him a cunt.”. various other things we’re said, but at the end of the day, at least WE can feel secure in knowing that Fuck Face can charm people who previously wanted, in the very least, to shove a carrot into his eye socket.
This week has been the best week this year, if you ask most of us….turning 32 (which we did on July 31 was NOT a highlight) and all of a sudden we have a better paying job (yes, it’s going to be fucking brutal on our back due to all the damage from the car accident a few years back…we don’t actually know how long we will be able to sustain it…but we can only try) and we have most of our house-tenant problems figured out with new tenants who are AMAZING and trustworthy…and we have a brilliant, sexy new boyfriend (more about that later) who has met almost all of us now, and despite the fact some are not super thrilled, and some may never fall in love with him…they find him “fun”, and really easy to get along with...and for the most part are content.
We’ll write more in the coming week about us and James. He’s the first person ever who has been able to feel confident in that he knows when switches (switches, that's a DID/MPD term that you'll have to look up or find out about around here...doesn't really fit to post the terms into this post, check a post from last week: ) happen and he’s really accurate in knowing who he is dealing with.
Today was a first, he spent some time with Catherine for the first time. We have no doubt that he knows it was her…it happened when we were out and about doing things this morning and she ….just was. I’m not sure why, but I am guessing she felt the need to spend some time with him before we start working on Monday, and before he leaves in 12 days.
In any case, I’ve missed Twitter all day, the others have sort of fucked off for a bit and I am going to enjoy that, play online, play on Twitter, enjoy this glass of vino and some time with James - and so this is the end of this post.

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