One Of Those Days

Image © 2012 Frank et al

We had a day that we'll never forget, and even though we all weren't present...it was one of those days.

We also put the official offer on the property, signed, sealed and delivered. The Father, dad, went out to look at it with us yesterday, and we went for a walk out in the woods attached to it, part of the property, and it was a nice time. Found out the big tree we thought was an oak, is actually a weeping willow, (which one of us fancies putting a swim on) and there is a nice sized apple tree, some lilac bushes, a few maples, and a blue spruce in the front yard, as well as sumac, birch and a whole bunch of pine, and many other types of trees on the 40 acre property, or as we'd call it, "The back 20".

We're excited, We're so excited. James is excited. We're all trying to keep it cool.

We'll find out what they say in less than 48 hours. It's likely they'll counter, which will be better than a rejection.

Whose life is this?!

We've come so far in just over a year. Life is completely different. Last year this time we still hadn't been fired from that job, we were single (even though we had already met James), and we were living in a city. Now we've been to England, lived there for four months, went on a big road trip of the USA, got to see New York City...and everything in between. Meeting people from Twitter at the Detroit Tweetup for the first time, not to mention Kerry, Serenity, Alley.
It's like a fantasy.

Now it's completely different; and while each day is different, and we still struggle mentally, it's...better, for now. We want to relish it, bite juicy chunks out and let the juices drip down our mouth, preserve it for the cold months.

It's also summer; and we're not sure, but at least one of us might suffer from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder), we can feel the difference between winter months, and summer months, she tells us of worsening depression during that time. It's probably best not to dwell too much on it for now.
Then, we've also been too busy since getting back to the states to even sit and think, or work on mapping therapy, or...do anything but enjoy each day. Once we get back to "reality" that might shift.

Soon, soon we will have to sit down and take roll call, really pay attention to each other, rather than let each other go off and do whatever, whenever, however.

But every so often it's important to relax the mental chains; and summer is the best time for it, no?

Grab it, and bite into it, for it is ever fleeting.

~ Frankie (& Ivy)

Because LOVE.

'Today Was A Good Day' - James' Blog Post

This was post number 2 from James, he's writing more than us these days...we must kick his ass for making some of us look bad to the others...of course he's not battling a vicious Twitter addiction like some of us...so there's that.

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Today was a good day

subtitle: Not to say there haven't been others...

I am aware that most of the posts are talking about bad days; days where there has been stress and hurt and anger. It isn't always like this, it really is mostly great being here with them.

Yesterday (August 10th, 2011) was a good day. OK, right here is where I have a dilemma. Whilst I am free to talk about individual alters, for the sake of general posts I think I should probably avoid doing so. If for example (and I use this one only because it's already been mentioned) I talk about how great yesterday was and I mention Emmie specifically (though it wasn't just Emmie) then how does that reflect on the other alters? Not just on those that were also around that day but on all of them regardless. The best option I can think of is to simply say "they" and "we". However, a thought to myself is a question of "is this the best thing for this blog bearing in mind it's primary objective? I don't know. I'll come back to that one.

So back to yesterday...
We had a great day. We went out to run some errands, we met up with Fuck Face and annoyingly I couldn't stab him with the bottle. On the way to the meeting I was told that if I could slip in a few cunts at him I could tie them (Frank et al) up and do anything I wanted to them!!! I spent the entire walk going through various mock "conversations" with him that would give me an excuse to smack him one. We were late for example and I had this whole situation planned: We arrive, he comments about us being late and I could get straight in there with a "Yeah and you're one more smart arse response away from me jamming the first object to hand into your fucking face, now sit the fuck down". Annoyingly he was walking towards us having got tired of waiting so when we got to him they made the apologies and introduced us. Now I'm a complete cunt when I want to be but to launch into an unprovoked attack is still beyond what little morals I have.
We head back to the bar and we all sit down and have a pleasant conversation. He's being nice and it's annoying the shit out of me. I ask for a bottle of beer purely as I wanted a bottle in my hand ready for him to slip up. I spend most of the time "fingering" the bottle, itching for an excuse to smash it around his head. But he's nice.
Later they tell me that's the "problem" with him. It's difficult to actually hate him. Don't get me wrong, I still want him dead. I still want to see his eyes close and feel that last breath as I tighten my hands around his neck. But I just can't do so without a provocation. And as much as I wanted to, I couldn't do or say anything just for the "reward". That would be wrong too. And not forgetting that even with permission, he is still a friend (sorry, they believe he is a friend) to at least one of them.
However, I did tell them that I WILL call him a cunt before I leave. Even if I have to just resort to the age old macho testosterone fuelled "I'll be back and if I hear that you've.... blah blah I'll fucking slit your throat you cunt". But I'd rather he gave me reason. I do have a conscience believe it or not.

After that we bought some alcohol and headed home. The walk home is interrupted several times for erm... gratuitous kissing and groping which culminates in sex in the apartment elevator; we nearly get caught save for a 4 second warning hearing the person leave their apartment which has us both exiting the life as soon as the person opens the doors still trying to push dresses down, panties and shorts up, laughing hysterically.

Today isn't great just because of the sex (I just like to boast). It was great because simply we enjoyed each others company, we talked lots, we spent a lot of time together, actually together rather than just sat across from each other in silence, twittering.

As a bit of a side note, I was talking to them about how I am starting to get a good sense of who is "here" and spotting switches. The more I get to recognise this and the more I'm aware of who I am with the more natural it would be to use names. Frank is the only one that gets called by name but that's mostly due to the fact that that is the accepted name to refer to the "collective". Now I know I can't use names - it's been discussed many times and I have done it once - but when I know who it is I'm talking to and they are their own unique person it's getting harder to resist the urge... no, it's more than an urge, it just seems right, to (not) say their name. When I'm standing in front of them, talking to them, looking at them it just seems so normal to call them by name. Of course, if I did and I was wrong the shit would hit the fan!!!

I will try and write more good day posts. Of course many of them will probably be shorter and consist of "we had a great day, we talked, we laughed, we went out, we ate, it was lovely..." kind of thing but it's important to know that these times greatly out weigh the bad.
The bad days are bad "days" either. They are moments of a day. Sometimes it effects more of the day's moods than others but as a whole it is just a fraction of that day.

Bethany, Cassandra, Catherine, Emmie, Frank, Ivy, Melody, Sam and "Brooke"... Just wanted to say their names....

[copied from the original location http://frank-from-the-outside.blogspot.com/]

Other posts James has written about us...

"A Rough Night, Not The Good Kind" "I meet Cassandra, It Doesn't go well"
"Who's Here Today"
"I Talk to Cassandra"

"Nine of Nine"

"I Meet Catherine, Not Bethany"

We Get A New Job & James Meets Fuck Face

So, first off WE GOT A NEW JOB!

We’re not going to disclose too much because we know people who think its okay to try to ruin our life, or at least stick their fingers in it and/or judge us are reading, so we’ll be vague for at least the first 60 or so shifts. Why? Because that’s how long our probation at the new job lasts. Why is that important? Because after that it is gonna be a hellava hard to fucking fire us, that’s why…we landed a stable union job, baby!

First of all, yes, some unions are complete shit…but some are also good. We got on with a good union position. Plus we’re making $2.60 an hour more than the last job, we have less responsibly, AND we get a week and a half off at Christmas AND mandatory layoffs for the summer, which means that we will collect unemployment for about 4 months a year and have time through the summer to focus heavily on writing, painting, and travel...then work through the winter months.

We really couldn't be happier. We’re pretty much convinced at this point that those cunts that fired us did nothing for us but a huge favour.

So there you go, we've had a nice three week or so vacation where we got to spend time with James (@mr_jmm) and now we start a new job in five days.

P.S. our new job involves working with knives every single day…but sorry, not nearly enough time to Tweet, though once we get the groove of it we’ll likely have some regularly schedule Twitter contact. We'll be here regularly the minute we clock off though.

On another note, speaking of James…

James got to meet Fuck Face today, face to face and have drinks with him. He had a short meet with him last week where no words were exchanged, so we figure that didn't count. On the way there we talked with him about it being okay to speak him mind, because honestly, Fuck Face is okay with people speaking their mind, loves a good debate and we knew that no matter what was said, both parties could take it.

“If you say mean things to him”, we said as we walked towards downtown, hand in hand with James, “I’ll let you tie us up tonight and do anything you want to us” (not that most of us wouldn’t anyway, but not all…because, well…James has met some of us and he knows some of us wouldn't take kind to that sort of thing).

Seeing as how we sweetened the pot for him we figured at least once he’d let a “cunt” or “twat” drop in the conversation. Just the though of James saying something rude to him made us ... excited.

Of course we knew better…even people who though he was a terrible manager didn’t hate him. Nobody hates him after they have met him. He is a charming little devil.

Fast forward through a couple hours of drinking and conversation, we say our goodbyes, we tell Fuck Face to keep in touch for drinks whenever, and James and us walk in the opposite direction of the bar to the liquor store to pick up a little something for the walk home.

“I thought you were going to be mean to him” we say [that’s a paraphrase to be certain]

James is upset…”Why was he so nice to me?” he says. “If only he had smirked, or said something wrong…”

We explain to him that for one, that’s why he is such a dangerous man…because he is a nice person and even if he is not nice-nice, he's a charming fuck…we knew he was being him…there was not one thing about his behaviour that seemed off or fake, we could tell he liked James, that he legitimately thought James was a nice guy. Seriously, if a guy is going to laugh about you and his girlfriend coming up with a new version of TurDuckEn, except using babies, teenagers and fat old men…well…you gotta respect that the guy, the boyfriend, is more of a kindred spirit than you imagined.

James is a lot like Fuck Face, but better in uncountable amount of ways…(if you ask a few, if not most, of us anyway)…But let’s not get fucking soppy here.

We explained to James that Fuck Face was nice to him because he is our friend, no matter what the nay sayers out there who have read our story about him say, he is our friend, we are not THAT terrible of a judge of character to be off base about this. We could see in his face that he can tell that James is actually a perfect fit for us, and that because he is our friend he was legitiamitely happy for us. Sorry to disappoint people, but we’ve said all along, yes, he is a fucking bastard…but he is our friend, and he has good qualities, and might even care about our welfare beyond his own means (though...he is a guy...and we know where he'd like his "means" to be). Bleh., We digress…we’ve had a bit to drink and we are totally defensive about people who have had to deal with us this year, and stuck around without some sort of bullshit like this last weeks "intervention" e-mail. Whatever. We know who to keep in our life, even if they've fucked us over...some people, especially those who have dealt with all of us on some level...some people are worth a second chance.

Poor James was beside himself…”We have to have drinks with him again. I WILL call him a cunt.”. various other things we’re said, but at the end of the day, at least WE can feel secure in knowing that Fuck Face can charm people who previously wanted, in the very least, to shove a carrot into his eye socket.

This week has been the best week this year, if you ask most of us….turning 32 (which we did on July 31 was NOT a highlight) and all of a sudden we have a better paying job (yes, it’s going to be fucking brutal on our back due to all the damage from the car accident a few years back…we don’t actually know how long we will be able to sustain it…but we can only try) and we have most of our house-tenant problems figured out with new tenants who are AMAZING and trustworthy…and we have a brilliant, sexy new boyfriend (more about that later) who has met almost all of us now, and despite the fact some are not super thrilled, and some may never fall in love with him…they find him “fun”, and really easy to get along with...and for the most part are content.

We’ll write more in the coming week about us and James. He’s the first person ever who has been able to feel confident in that he knows when switches (switches, that's a DID/MPD term that you'll have to look up or find out about around here...doesn't really fit to post the terms into this post, check a post from last week: http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/2011/07/whos-here-today-james-blog-post.html ) happen and he’s really accurate in knowing who he is dealing with.

Today was a first, he spent some time with Catherine for the first time. We have no doubt that he knows it was her…it happened when we were out and about doing things this morning and she ….just was. I’m not sure why, but I am guessing she felt the need to spend some time with him before we start working on Monday, and before he leaves in 12 days.

In any case, I’ve missed Twitter all day, the others have sort of fucked off for a bit and I am going to enjoy that, play online, play on Twitter, enjoy this glass of vino and some time with James - and so this is the end of this post.

~Frank