Tuesday, August 2, 2011

We Get An E-Mailed Intervention

An attempted intervention anyway, at least that's how it feels. Reading this e-mail made our stomach churn and our eyes burn with the blatant inaccuracy of most of its accusations.

We haven't heard much, if anything, from about 98% of the people from The Other Girls' past...seems every once and awhile they like to stick their nose in the ass end of our business and try to upset us. Some people just cannot let go.

When contacting us in writing anyone from our past knows it's likely to end up here, especially if they read our blog; it is becoming apparent that more than we expected do read it...

We've written about why we do it, share it all...it's so that other people can understand the struggles that some people go through - it's a common theme, we've found, when it comes with outing oneself with a mental disorder. We have a Twitter follower who started a blog after finding us on Twitter through our Mental Health Month posts back in May, and she has gone through some of the same things in attempting to maintain her own life of acceptance of who she, and her others, are; and trying to get the people in her life to accept her.

This of course is the reverse; we eliminated people from our life that were friends with The Other Girl, people the rest of us didn't want to associate with in the first place, they were her friends, not our friends. We've written about and we thought it was in our past...we'd like them all to stay there, but they keep insisting on cropping up every so often.

All this e-mail did was make us angry... (the only thing we have edited was the name of The Other Girl, for obvious reasons, as it is the name we must use in our day to day lives, the name we are saddled with.) - Everything else is left painfully intact...
FOR [THE OTHER GIRL] (ET AL):I will not address each identity separately.

I definitely cannot express myself in writing as eloquently as you all, but nonetheless I will placate my yearning for closure, and in a possible attempt for you to get the help you desperately need.
Throughout my life I have faced many friendships and when you come to adulthood you instead start looking upon friendships as more like important pieces to what makes your puzzle complete....rather than just faces that you can fan through like a high school yearbook. At least you hope so. When you do you feel so lucky. You start to build your life around the people you can trust. Before long that piece fits like it was always there, like it was never missing.

When you came to me and told me you weren't well, you told me you could no longer be this person that fit into my puzzle. You told me you were going to use writing as a form of therapy and I encouraged you because you felt you had no other way to communicate.

I have watched, and read, as you have destroyed every aspect of your life. You had a complete support system here with the friends that you have now shunned. That you have claimed would never help you and made fun of you. This is completely absurd, you never even gave them a chance. You cut yourself off completely to everyone except a “chosen” few. I have watched as they all, including myself, have tried to come to terms with your decision and the pain from not having the piece that completed their lives with them any longer.

You have left a huge void in all of our lives. I see a picture of you and I cry.

I have read as you have taken on an affair with a married man, given it is your decision, but as we discussed and you knew this was not a healthy emotional decision. I have read as you tried to destroy his life(do you really think you got fired for discrimination?) I have read as you destroyed a job that you had loved. You are now at 50,000 tweets, you are engaged to a woman? You have a man in from England? Your co-workers were all you needed? Your followers all agree that is was good to get rid of us all? Do they have any idea how much we all cared for you? You see a life with strangers better than we could be? You cannot just chew up people and spit them out.

This is a serious medical crisis. You need to be admitted to a hospital.

Is this what I must tell myself? That you are no longer the person I built this friendship with and that you have made this decision because you feel that it is best for you? As I see you drown yourself in drugs and mostly alcohol? This is not best for you. Nor do I see you trying to recover. I see you hiding. Now I see you running. You can run but you cannot hide from yourself. You cannot hide from [The Other Girl]. You are all here to help [The Other Girl] in her fight to find balance of the person she WANTS to be, in contrast to the person she felt she always HAD to be; for protection, for comfort, for bravery. Each one of you has been created for a specific purpose. The goal here was to create a peaceful existence between all aspects(alters) of [The Other Girl], not to destroy her.
Our e-mailed response:

Seeing as how [The Other Girl] doesn't exist anymore, perhaps you should try to addressing at least one person that does, especially if you are aware of their/our names.

As for your opinions, it's appreciated and respected that you feel the need to share your pain and seek closure regarding [The Other Girl], we are aware that she was enjoyed/loved by some people.

Not sure where you get your intel...the affair has been over for months - we are not engaged to anyone, let alone a woman - we are also not doing drugs. We have not smoked pot more than a handful of times since February, which as you know is a drastic decrease in how much [The Other Girl] had been smoking; we hardly think a few bottles of wine a week is a huge problem.

We didn't destroy our job, the executive director wanted us to stay, as well as several other employees and patrons. Perhaps you should stop assuming you know anything about our lives based on wherever you are getting your info. Seems someone alerted them (the Board of Directors) to our blog, now we think it's probably one of you - seeing as how this letter is clearly being written on the behalf of more than one person, all of you are suspect to us.

We also guess that we were aware that someone was taking our Tweets and twisting them based on the last time we heard from [Your Fiancé], who was going off about some shit regarding a guy from prison he/you thought we were dating, or some such absurd rumour. Please stop reading and/or following our blog and/or Twitter account, or doing so in a haphazardly manor, as it is perfectly clear you are choosing to interpret all off what you are reading in your own way.

Furthermore, when have our followers ever suggested it was a good idea to get you out of our lives? It has been several months since any of us even wrote anything about any of you, and we've merely mentioned 'you' once - the only comments were left on the specific blog entry written about [TNB].

As for being hospitalized, it is preposterous to think it is required, or this is a "medical crisis" simply because you don't like that you, and others, have been removed from someone's life/our life.

People live with DID/MPD in society perfectly fine, it's your ignorance that suggests that it's something that is a crisis. For fuck sake, grow up and do some research. We're not doing drugs, we're not excessively drinking (we have witnesses to such), we're job hunting, we're contemplating a change in our life/location due to the loss of a job, we have a friend/boyfriend who cares about us staying with us for a few weeks (and yes, he is from the UK...really not sure the significance of you pointing that out), we are writing and living our life day to day. It seems that perhaps you should accept that we do not want any of you in our lives and move on. Perhaps burn the pictures that make you cry.

[The Other Girl] is gone, if you'd actually read our blog thoroughly you would understand that by now (that it was the best for us) - it took many of us awhile to deal with the loss of her, perhaps you should come to some acceptance of it yourselves.

As far as running? Where are we running to exactly? ...pretty sure this feels like sitting in one place trying to decide what direction to take our lives. We're sorry it does not include any of you, many of you made that decision on your own, just as much we made the decision for ourselves. What you all fail to understand is that we are indeed not the people/person you built a friendship with. Please learn to accept that, for yourselves, for us, for everybody involved.

[Pixie Princess], last time we saw you you said that you wanted to be part of our lives, as far as any of us can recall we never heard from you again the day you walked out of our apartment way back in March/April (whenever that was).

We've got nothing more to say.

~ Frank et al
Our final thoughts on this.

The Father, The Mother, The Pastor (the pastor of our fathers church who was our religious leader in our teens), and our Two Brothers (Angry and Baby) all have access to our blog, our Twitter account, our lives, our Facebook...while The Father has suggested on occasion that we should talk to a professional, he also understands that there are not many professionals who handle our particular mental disorder, so it's difficult. He also agrees we are strong and can handle many things on our own, as we have for the past 32 years. Are we to expect that people who knew one of us, one that no longer exists, are more in tune with what we need that people who raised us from birth, and all of our individual stages? We have a hard time understanding why they feel the need to do more than just say "We miss her, and we are sorry she is gone"...it could be that easy for their so-called closure.

It was really hard to read the e-mail from Pixie Princess and not see the selfish statements, as it has been with most of the other correspondences we've shared with people from The Other Girls past.

All we can say is: Poor You.


  1. Wow. If someone can claim to know yo so well and yet have their information so skewed, where is the hope for the rest of us? Seems to me that this person was part of the problem and not part of the solution, and you were right to walk away. This sounds like a last ditch effort from someone who feels "morally superior" to stick a knife in your back and twist it bit, just to see if she can hurt you all. I'm proud to call you all my friends and think you're just doing what everyone else is doing, trying to live your lives as best you can and trying to enjoy the ride along the way. Pixie Princess can kiss my hiney.

  2. Please don’t take this wrong or I may never comment in another blog again. The “cannot express myself in writing” is bullshit.

  3. Patrick,
    Are you saying she expressed herself perfectly fine? (We agree, she expressed perfectly what she needed to say to us). As always, thank you for reading *hug*

    Kisses to you always <3