Saturday, May 7, 2011

We Don't Do A Blog Post


Okay, so technically we are doing a blog post, but it's really about nothing in particular.

We're going out tonight, come hell or high water, we are going to go out. We know the vicinity we are headed to, and it's more than a couple blocks from the apartment! There are galleries and a pub we frequent with Fuck Face. We'll probably go to that pub, there are usually cute and relatively smart boys there; plus the bartenders know us. We feel more comfortable there.

We were going to go out last night, but we ended up having a mostly Bethany night (explains why we were a unicorn last night - confused? Check out our Tumblr account from last night: http://jstcallmefrank.tumblr.com/). She got to do what she wanted for awhile, with the occasional input of a couple of the others, until we finally watched our second movie, all the way through, this year. Is it sad that that feels like an accomplishment to us. Speaking of, we still haven't remembered to do laundry.

The movie was Barry Munday. It was not a completely terrible movie about a guy who gets his testicles removed after an accident involving him being a typical sleazy male. The story goes on, but let's just say, it ends up being a love story in disguise. We hate those kinds of disguises, they trick you AND they breed false hope and/or feelings of pathetic (for us); as indicated by their first kiss, after he and his love interest had been "friends" for almost 9 months. The kiss made us cry because it was that kiss that one of us keeps saying we're not ever going to have again (SHUT UP CATHERINE!). Meh. We're over it. We realize she's mostly full of shit because she's insecure about our illness. 

Our Tumblr account, where Bethany went nuts with unicorns last night, is part of a combined project on mapping* the Us, the We...

My philosophy regarding everybody is if they want to be them, they can be them, the break for myself is nice - though when returning isn't always a fun time. We'll see how it goes for now, they've been cooped up too long in the head, and I figure that's where all the difficulty has been coming from, them not being able to be them openly for so many years. The ones who don't like to go out can go to their hiding spots and the "grown up" ones can do whatever.

My head hurts.

It's been hurting a lot. 

We're coming up on the one year anniversary of when The Other Girl started this blog, when I tried to get her to start writing and all she accomplished was her journal, and not much of one at that. Thank goodness she did that that much though because it would have been nearly lost information, what with all the pot she had been smoking to get some silence out of us. When I read through it the first time I felt a little bad for her, because I knew she was scared of what was going to, or what might happen, again.

By the way, we've gotten a couple questions from a Twitter follower who wanted to know some things about us and Dissociative Identity Disorder. It being Mental Health Awareness Month we figured this month is a great time to answer any of your questions from our perspective - we might even get Marisa in on it (if you don't know who she is read some of our posts about her, she is a recovered DID "sufferer"). So, if you have questions you can e-mail us: justcallmefrank2010 (at) gmail.com OR post in the comment section of any of the posts around here OR ask us on Twitter (@jstcallmefrank) OR send us a Facebook message. We're everywhere on the internet...and nowhere in real life - at least it seems that way sometimes.

But not tonight! We're going drinking!

~Frank et al
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*DID/MPD Mapping

Mapping is a technique used to learn about an individual's internal personality system. The client is asked to draw a map or diagram of his or her personality states. As therapy progresses, the client is asked to update the map. Also known as personality mapping or system mapping.[source: http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/dissociative-identity-disorder-multiple-personality-disorder?print=true]


Information on mapping in Dissicoiative Identity Disorder: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/dissociativeliving/2010/11/dissociative-identity-disorder-mapping-the-system/ (Written November 4th, 2010 / by Holly Gray)
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Work-In-Progress
This is our attempt to do what Marisa, a DID/MPD recoverer, did with her doctors, to help her separate and eliminate The Crew (her Alters).

We don't plan to eliminate anyone anymore, we just want to find them all and sort them out.

The Power of We

Our body is a shell. We have killed our core (The Other Girl), and an alter (Frank) took over as host.
We don’t know who started where yet. We have no memories before the age of 8. We have scattered memories until we were 13; pictures and stories are the only things we have to pretend we actually remember most of what we think we remember. 
“It’s like it was someone else’s life”.
Indeed it was.
We want it to be our life now.
For more about this please read: Frank Gets Candid  (a link to our main blog)
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Marisa (a DID/MPD "survivor") says there are likely more, she had doctors help her but we are afraid of doctors, that they might try to convince us to be one; or worse, give us medication. We don't trust that we can be One...we've never been One. We continue to listen to the others of We for information.
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For the month of May, Mental Health Awareness Month, we will be posting this at he bottom of each of our entries, to help provide additional information about us, and about DID/MPD

10 Things You Should Know About US That MIGHT Surprise YOU:
  1. We used to be a Baptist missionary (yeah, can you fucking believe that shit?!) [we are NOT religious]
  2. We were once married (didn’t last long) [one of our stories talks about him]
  3. We have had nearly 30 physical addresses in 30 years, mostly as an adult (nothing could contain us in the early days) [we actually own a house, but choose not to live in it]
  4. We’ve lived in 2 countries: 1 province and 6-7 different states (running much)
  5. We have lost 120 pounds since the age of 24 (100 of it when we were 24) [and it's close to 140 pounds now)
  6. We have a full time job (well, now it's 32 hours a week - but they actually let us work around the other humans!) [it get's harder everyday, and this is the longest we've ever had a single job since we were 17. We've been there almost a year]
  7. We deal with social anxiety type symptoms every day (and these days we choose not to leave home much, but for going to work) [there are about three people we feel comfortable with being in public with and sometimes we have to be out there alone]
  8. We have multiple “mental illness” diagnoses (doesn't everybody?) [p.s. all misdiagnosed]
  9. We have two beautiful cats, who piss us off every day (but they are special, because they put up with us) [though one of us hates them beyond belief]
  10. We have struggled to survive, over and over, defeating the odds thrown against us (read our stories) [seriously, how are we not dead yet?]

    We've copied the stories written here that are specifically about our past (mostly abuse) and moved them to our other blog, called:
Addressing The Issue of Frank: The Origins, History and Life Story of Frank, from "Just Call Me Frank: One Womans Endeavour At Being Frank"  
Some of our writing on this blog we like to promote, these are those entries since mid-January 2011. There are bits of writing in this blog that we do not actually promote due to embarrassment over things that some have written - they are here for our own tracking - they are angry, mean, scary things. If you feel like it you can find them on your own. Here are the highlights of what we have written so far this year:

The Mental Health Entries: 
Dissociative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder
Health:
Relationships/Friendships:
Life:
Opinion:
Art/Poetry:
Humour/Random Fun:

If you have any questions for us we are very open and will answer to our best ability - this is totally the month to ask us questions. You can either ask us on Twitter, in the comment section of a blog entry here, or e-mail us at justcallmefrank2010 (at) gmail.com.

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Resources for You - facts, figures and personal stories of other people can be found on these sites:
National Institute of Mental Health: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml
American Psychological Association: http://www.apa.org/index.aspx
Canadian Mental Health Association: http://www.cmha.ca/bins/index.asp
Mental Health Europe: http://www.mhe-sme.org/
World Psychiatric Association: http://www.wpanet.org/

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2 comments:

  1. MarisaMay 11, 2011 at 9:02 PM

    I wanted to clarify that I didn't elimiate The Crew. All that has really happened is that whatever seperated us into individuals no longer seperates us. Every part is still there in one way or another. It's just more 'all of us together all the time' instead of being on our own. If I'd had to get rid of any of them, integration wouldn't have been worth it. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
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