Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Tale Of The Barbie Massacre/Trial: Part 1

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It started with a single Tumblr post of a dead Barbie discovery...and then the bodies started piling up...with the help of Sean Kinney (a Facebook friend and Twitter follower @Sean_Kinney) in about 4 hours we complied the evidence, while he helped piece together the story of the Barbie Massacre. 

It was determined by Sean right away that this the initial discovered body is not Barbie, because Barbie is, in fact, blond; hence the editing note explaining that this is Mandy, Barbie's half sister.

The following is a transcript of the initial discussion leading up to The Barbie Massacre Trial (Part 1)

Time: 4:58am
Location: Facebook - The Account of Frank Ly et al after the body was found April 25, 2011 at 12:02pm & Tumblr account of Frank Ly et al

Sean: My understanding is Mandy has a drug problem. Which is why Ken told Barbie that Mandy isn't allowed to the house anymore. She kept stealing jewelry. Very sad.

Frank et al: Explains why she's in an ally looking like that. Maybe she got what she deserved. Maybe she turned to prostitution and her pimp got angry because she didn't pay him his cut, then he messed her up and left her next to a garbage dumpster where dog tore her apart. #theory

Sean: The real tragedy is that it wasn't always like this...she really hated Barbie. Maybe Daddy didn't actually love Barbie more than Mandy but he certainly acted like it. Even though Mandy was older, smarter, funnier and prettier all the boys flocked to Barbie because Barbie is a whore.

Frank et al: Barbie IS a whore. She's a plastic icky whore. 

Sean: Well I'm not sure who I'd rather be Barbie or Mandy. I definitely wouldn't want to be her other sister Charity. The woman is one of those "born-again" crusaders who keeps telling everyone they are going to hell. She is soooo obnoxious. Even though her husband stole all that money from Enron. Stupid bitch.

Frank et al: Meanwhile, did you know Charity was sleeping with Mandy's husband...that's what we heard, she was going to take the money that her husband stole from Enron, steal it from him, and run off with Mandy's husband. Christian do-gooders, go figure... BUT then Ken found out, told Barbie, and ...come to think of it, maybe THAT'S why Mandy is all fucked up next to that dumpster...

Sean:  The irony is Mandy's husband is the one that got Mandy hooked on meth. I think it was for the insurance money personally but the ME report isnt back yet. I think she was pushed regardless of the suicide note.

Frank et alSuicide? That picture is clearly not suicide...the note is totally fake. WE heard that it doesn't match Mandy's handwriting at all...FYI Mandy's husband got the meth from the Ken, how do you think he found out that her (Mandy's) husband was sleeping with Charity and then subsequently told Barbie about it? Of course Barbie was right pissed that Ken sold meth to Mandy's husband anyway, she didn't want people that actually knew her to know that her Dream House and Pink Corvette were paid for with drug money.

SeanEveryone knows Ken is the kingpin in that whole family. It is a shame his brother Biff won't rat him out. After all Biff wouldn't have carried out the hit on Cabbage Patch Godfather without Ken's approval.

Frank et al: Oh, you had to bring the Cabbage Patch's into it. You know, they'd put on a hit you just for sayin' that....and then they'd use your remains to fertilize their cabbage patch...

Sean: See I don't think it is suicide either. I think she was pushed b/c she threatened to turn state's evidence against the whole clan. It wouldn't surprise me at all if we find out Barbie masterminded the whole thing. That whole stupid blonde thing is an act.

Frank et al: It's totally an act, Charity saw her getting her hair dyed ...Charity better watch her ass...she's next... did you know Skipper has gone missing? We're busy trying to find her...have the police on the phone right now...

------Frank et al, and Sean go there separate ways beriefly to look for evidence; though we were the only one to find any evidence-----

Frank et al:  Did you see...we found a partially mutilated...well...his I.D. says Josh...but we think he's got fake I.D....and by the way...records show no trace of Charity...she must be using an alias too...time to do some detective work...

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Sean: Maybe Charity and Barbie are one in the same? I think Skipper is muling from Columbia.

Frank: We found Skipper! Check it out! (image 3)

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Frank:  Did you see? Barbie is about to fry for the death of Mandy and Skipper... (image 5)

Sean:  I saw! isnt there any mercy? Is the gov going to call?

Frank: Let's go see...

Sean: I thought Skipper was a tranny?

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Frank: That was just an unsubstantiated rumor started by Stacy - who, by the way, we found out is Charity! yeah - she went undercover and was in the Witless Protection Program...that's why she was trying to steal money from her husband (the guy who stole from Enron) and run away with Stacy's husband...she was scared that the Cabbage Patch Maffia was closing in on her, and she was dumb and fell in love with another man. Turns our the guy she was married to, all a hoax for her cover...

Sean: Sad when dolls go bad...

Frank: So...she started trash talking Skipper because Skipper was trying to sleep with Stacy's husband too...telling everyone she was a tranny...However, Barbie knew all along that there crazy bitches would be the end of each other....have you seen Barbie lately though? That bitch is worse for wear...
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----Frank et al took the responsibility of piecing together of the mystery, piecing together the story bit by bit. In all it took about 4 hours from the finding the first piece of evince, until we found the last piece. The rest of the investigation took place totally on our Tumblr account (with links being sent to Twitter and Facebook). Due to fast pace of the events these Tumblr slides contain some pretty poor grammar and spelling mistakes-----
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Lucky for Barbie she has a lawyer in the family who is working diligently to get Barbie off on an insanity plea... it doesn't look good though. If she has an interesting continuation of trial we'll post it here.

As for Charity/Stacy and Mandy's husband? Well, maybe sometime we'll tell you what happened to them; and why Charity had to enter the Witless Protection Program and hide from the Cabbage Patch Mafia....

Much Thanks goes to our friend Sean, who writes for his own blog at: Old Black Waters - http://seankinney1968.wordpress.com/ and also, thanks to all the people who mutilated the Barbie's...we wish we could have helped you with the task, you have been an inspiration.

We're not going to lie. Many Barbie's were harmed in the making of Barbie Massacre Trial.

Image Sources: (all text contained in images (c) Frank Ly et al)

7. missing
12. missing
16. missing
17. missing

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