Thursday, March 10, 2011

Please Don't Let Us Be Misunderstood

There is a reason we wake up each morning listening to this song as our alarm...because we do have intentions...and they are good. It's a reminder, to our self...even though the joy, isn't we can hate our self a little less for some of the things we say, and do.

Since 99% of our readers are Twitter followers/unfollowers; we feel the need to apologize.

Yesterday evening with our final Twitter transmission: 
"Tonight we're too pissed off from the pain of everything to tolerate this. Everybody who isn't following us can go fuck off. That is all."
...We laid in bed sobbing in pain, and passed out. On the upside it was the first night of sleep that was more than 3-5 hours in about as long as we can remember...December??

In the light of day, and with a mild decrease in pain, we realize that some days we lash out at you (and the people in our physical space). Generally it doesn't help on a day (most of them, actually) where your boss seems obessesd with the fact you don't have a smile on your face, forcing you to squeeze one out, so he can say "there's that smile!", and walk away with self satisfaction. Making you want to stab him in the fucking eye (we've never ever stabbed anyone); only to go home, by yourself, full of pain, realizing that perhaps we could have a little less if we weren't so "apprehensive" to leave our home, or if we had someone willing to rub our back waiting for us behind the door of our fortress - the only place we are truly comfortable. This is the only time we miss Standby, who used to rub TOGs neck, and back, twice a week. 

We feel bad, and honestly when we woke up this morning, we sobbed in the shower whilst getting ready for work, because the people of Twitter, currently, aside from the very few people mentioned with affection in our writing, are the only people who manage to tolerate us and our outbursts.

Since our intention has evolved into a desire to share with you our life, to show what it's like to live our life with mental illness, in an attempt to breakdown stereotypes and create tolerance and understanding; we have to remember, as should you, that some of our "outbursts" have to do with physical, not mental, pain. So, we make sure to mention on those days, that our pain is at a high level.

We don't want to propagate a negative stereotype about mental illness, because while that affliction does not help matters, some days our #stabby mood is not just the average flare up of our mental illness, but is exemplified by pain, not rippling - but tearing through out back and neck.

Our apologies...we don't want people with mental illness to be misunderstood on account of our outbursts. We're trying to do something good here, and we don't want to fuck it up because of our physical pain.

....and now we are very late for apologies if grammar and punctuation suck for this post.

Added: April 13, 2011
We have now come to realize that the anger is not always pain's part of us. Sorry. Guess sometimes we're an asshole.


  1. Hey you know what? Sometimes a bad day just happens, and sometimes it's A Bad Day. You are You. And I hope you know that there are some of us out "here" in this intangible space who accept you, all of you, and you are loved -- for all your many intricacies and struggles, but for all your beauties, too.

  2. Thank you so much <3
    We are glad you keep reading. It does mean a lot to us.