Thursday, March 17, 2011


We are experiencing a bout of extreme paranoia today, once again. These feelings come in waves, they crest and peak, and make us fixate on things. The thoughts running through our head causes anxiety, makes our head pound, produces feelings of helplessness and confusion, and scare us. When we have been paranoid in the past, many times it has turned out that we were right, and so knowing this only fuels the torture we experience when we get these thoughts; and it makes us wonder if this is paranoia or something else. Is it paranoia if you are right? 

This issue is something we have always tried to combat, and these feeling come in spurts. They probably have been catalysts to the destruction of a few relationships in our life. 

Paranoia is a bitch, and for some reasons she wants us as her mistress a lot these days. We know part of the problem is that we are sharing our deepest darkest secrets within these blog pages, and some may ask if we should expected any less. We can only respond with our view that, if fear stopped people from trying to do things, then there would be nothing in this world of value. This is not to insinuate our blog has value, even though some have told us it does; there are others who have told us it doesn't.

We've discussed our paranoia with people who have experienced it, asking them how they overcame it, or overcome it each time. So far we have no answers. If there is anyone reading this entry who has been able to overcome paranoia without medication, please, we beg us. This is the only area we are not able to manage a solution to.

While not being the singular issue today; our paranoia the last few months, has been reoccurring "suspicions" that people are plotting against us. We've never even discussed this with Fabulous People...there is always so much to discuss and we talk far too much as it is. We've been "concerned", on several occasions, that co-workers are plotting against us (even though we love them all). Namely two of them. Two we can't even discuss. We know it is irrational, it's downright ridiculous - but we don't know how to stop these feelings. It makes us upset, it makes us cry; even now, as we write this. We don't like being suspicious of people we care about, people we love; people in general. A month and a half ago we were concerned about lurkers...we targeted them in blog posts....and referenced them in others

Our paranoia, this week in particular, however, is that people we know who work off-site from the place we are employed may be reading Us. While our core group of co-workers are aware of this blog, and read it, there are other "employees" who do not deal with us on a daily basis, and therefor have not been given access to this location. 

It peaked today when we discovered someone landing here, each time from the same destination within Our City. Multiple times today they set foot in our world, here, and in the linked world that is Addressing The Issue of Frank; in intervals that were alarming to us, and made no sense: Every hour, to an hour and a half - six times within an eight hour work period, we've been told. We suspect it was to read our Twitter Feed. So we have removed it from this blog. We'd rather have you follow us in Twitter, than to stop here and lurk about.

We get that people are going to read and come back, but that many times in a day? If you are in Our City and reading, we feel you probably know us; someone has given you this address - we know we've given it to a couple people not expecting them to share it; which in hindsight is stupid, considering we don't trust people. Bitch always likes to try though.

And if you do know us, you should send us a message - even if you are wrong and it turns out you don't know us; please...please...provide some comfort to our tortured mind. You likely know who YOU are, as you read were here enough today, or as the case may be, yesterday. We have an e-mail address, it should be posted on our Facebook badge. We're pretty sure if you know who we are, you also know how to contact us with our real e-mail address.

A plea. From Us. This feels highly inappropriate to be posting, and it's likely that it makes us look battier than we already appear (is that possible?) - but if people are to understand what we go through, the least we can do is provide this small insight on what goes on in our mind. We don't know how to control it...and we know you're thinking "just control it"; don't you think we could, if it were that easy for US?

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