Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My Attempt At Pandering While Frank Sleeps

You shouldn't read this. But you will. So fuck you.

Today is a day of pandering, because we know how much "he" likes us to talk about him. Yep, we know, but maybe we're just guessing; it's probably the only reason he stops by to read our little blog - to see what we say about him, or IF we say something about him.

But that's me. I don't like him all that much; so when I say "we" or "our", I really mean "her". I think he's a pompous ass. I could keep saying things I don't like about him, but she might wake up, and then I'd be in trouble.

For us [By the way, I need a name, I guess. Anyone want to supply a "label"? We can't go by our Real Life name, that's used to address both of us, and that's privileged information].

Anyway, FOR US, Frank and I, the hardest part about dating, especially now, is our difference in taste of men. Frank likes very intellectual, somewhat driven, interesting, complex men; seemingly ones that don't mind torturing me [no worries, I know I deserve it - she knows it too].

Frank likes men who she can have interesting conversations with; men she could just listen to while she painted, or cooked; a man who could just exist around her comfortably, without interrupting her life too much. Since she's not leaving me now, not ever, we're on a quest to find someone who wants nothing more from us than we want from them.

I, on the other hand, like whatever we can get, and am pretty satisfied with settling for an average man. TOG had standards somewhere between us, but she's gone (and clearly, that's why The Villain is gone).

Being happy with what we can get wasn't working this time, Frank isn't going to stand for any settling this time.

I've been trying to tell her that it's a lost cause, that we could find someone we can both agree on that's not him; if only because he's not ours and can never be. I'm hoping to have influence over her before it's too late, but I fear I may fall into his trap.  He is awfully charming, and cute as fuck. Don't know why, he just is. It pisses me off.

Yeah, I know it's not cool. It's really not. It's REALLY NOT.

We've known all along that we couldn't "keep" him, even way back when we were trying to catch him, that "big fish" that TOG and I was planning to throw back.

Sometimes surprises are bad. Especially if you're not used to them. Then they turn into shadows of cruel jokes. And then they just plain torture us.

I remain the only reason we haven't fallen too hard, because, in this case, I am the rational one. Who knew.

Unfortunately, tonight, he refuse to "service us" in the way Frank prefers, and I told him he could do whatever he wanted; that's a problem for me. I can't have him showing me kindness, and he did. We can't fall for him; she can, I can't. At a time like this I really miss TOG and her inability to stick to one man for very long. She really was a flighty cunt.

When I think back, I realize that's why Standby and FNA worked for us; each appealed to one of us.  Now we just have FNA, and while he is truely FaNtAstic, we really don't have a future with him and I know know that; part of us is okay with that (that'd be Frank, she likes him far more than I do).

That's not really pandering though, and Franks asleep after his recent visit; so you only have me attempting to appeal to a man ego, a man I really don't like that much.

She's gaga over him, it makes me sick because I have never really like him. He's kind of full of himself, full of self importance; almost like he thinks he's better than us. Like a bird fluffing out his plumage with his eyes closed. You know, all the usual metaphors pertain.

This is a song dedication that Frank asked me to post, right before she fell asleep. I'm okay with it, it's somewhere between what her and I feel. Because at the end of everyday I say to her "What the FUCK are you thinking".

In any case, Happy Lady Porn Day; maybe Frank'll wake up when I go wash the cum out of our hair, while we listen to more Johnny Cash; and maybe she'll come by to say nice things about that asshole.

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