Thursday, July 21, 2011

Some Stressed Out Ramble

We sort of remember the general time when we started Tweeting this past January, if only because of our blog entries that thankfully have chronicled most of the last 7 months of our life, though we have stories to flesh out, to clarify more mental illness issues we had experienced in the early months of us taking over The Other Girls blog, and all the past years up until about 4 years ago are contained within these “pages”. Despite the Twitter account having been opened in October of last year, we have no idea what The Other Girl used to Tweet about...we wish we had an easier way to scroll back through time to find out, like a Twitter time machine (if you know of one please tell us, we are literally aching to find out what she used to Tweet before we took over).

Our Twittercrush, James, is showing up in less than 9 hours ( – we’re not nervous for us, per sa…however…we’re nervous for him…we’re nervous how some of us will treat him; we haven’t treated him well the entire couple of months of knowing him on Twitter, or Skyping with him.  Sometimes we’ve been mean; some of us are mean. Some of us are sweet (even though we get angry when he mentions it…)…but..well, like anyone with mental illness issues, relationships, even temporary ones…can seem scary, and completely unfathomable to maintain. It stems from society telling you are not worthwhile, because you are “defective”, exactly how we felt this week when we were fired, when they mentioned our very, VERY, anonymous Twitter account that is linked directly to this blog.

So, yeah…we’re writing today’s entry because we’re starting to get a little nervous, about this, about life…about us. We’ve had a couple of drinks, attempted to clean the apartment…but with everything that’s gone on this last year, this last 7 months, and most recently this past month, with the rental property issues and being fired from our job this week…we’re feeling sort of uncertain, and unmotivated, and we’d really like to lay in bed and stare at a wall…like we wrote about on our Tumblr blog last night. We haven’t felt this unstable mentally in months…and when we were feeling unstable a few months ago we dealt with it behind the screen of our laptop, nobody to witness it, except in 140 character chunks on Twitter. Anonymous. Now James will be here…and it won`t be just us anymore; and honestly, we are more comfortable with it just being us.

Now there is the stark realization that many people know us in our city, seeing as we have gotten canned because of who we are, because they have found this blog - we are not as anonymous as we would have liked to remain. Catherine is reeling with paranoia of leaving the house, too many people know about us here…whenever we have been outdoors anytime we get second glances and she is present,  she whispers “they know who we are”…and we try to play it off with humour…but we know the fear we feel, we cannot deny it. We cannot deny that having to open up this case to government officials, about how we feel we were discriminated against isn’t terrifying, we only hope that in doing so we can help others, those who have a hard time keeping jobs in the face of managing mental illness, that there can be other options presented to the mentally ill, those who want to work and manafe day to day life, than just firing them, without trying to help them in some way.

We’ll be over here, on our side of the world, listening to music, drinking and dancing, trying to cull up the happy people in us for the next 8 or so hours; they are there, begging, just waiting to have their turn again, because lately, they’ve been struggling to emerge through all the stress and anxiety we’ve felt for weeks, and we really want James to have a good 32 days with us, we need it, we deserve 32 days of happy…and so does he.

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