Our Tree of If

What out tree of If looks like.

That was no typo...it's supposed to say Our Tree of If.


Well...here we are.

In The Mother's basement...

We already feel like we've put on 10 pounds since Friday morning. Fast food here is so much cheaper than where we came from. Food in general, at least the unhealthy stuff. Where we just came from (yeah, you don't have to be a genius to figure it out, but we're still not outright telling people too much about where we were living) junk foods were expensive, and healthy foods were high quality and fairly affordable...now it's opposite, and the healthy foods? They aren't very good quality here (as in, they taste like crap...or nothing) and lets be honest, we're low income (poor, unemployed, not eligible for any social services) and junk food and convenience food? Well, it's cheap.

No excuse...we will not let it be an excuse. We will just all learn to dislike eating.

This is going to be a disaster.

The wine we love? They don't have it anywhere here...we're going to have to import it...at least three cases at a time.

Maybe we'll just stop eating completely and create a new 'Wine Only" diet...it was basically the diet we had before The Boyfriend came to live with us and cooking anyway (yeah, we know we are a trained cook, that doesn't mean we want to cook for ourselves...)

There is nowhere to walk to here, at least not in under 20 minutes, and then we're pretty much talking about a gas station. So we have to depend on transportation we don't have...(no bus services where The Mother is located in this city).

Basically we woke up feeling like we'd rather be dead.

We'll try to make the best of it. We have to.

We have to go back to the city we used to live in and tie up loose ends for the house sale this weekend...but beyond that?

We have no idea where to go from here...so much of our future depends on "ifs"...if "this" happens then we can do this...if "this" happens then we can do this/go here...and around and around the tree of ifs. And if you know about our physical and mental issues, then you know it's harder than just going out and getting a job, particularly in an job related, and economic climate, such as America finds itself now.

The Boyfriend only gets to stay here until January 20th or so, at least he got to be there...but then he is basically being sent back to the UK for a couple of months...then what?

At least we have plenty of time for writing. And Twitter. Thank fuck we have Twitter and our friends there. If you think that's stupid then clearly you don't know us, and what the people there mean to us...which means you've never read much of our blog, about out life, about us...in which case you should read yesterdays (actually Friday's, the last post we did) - it's got links of information and stuff. Or don't read it. Who really cares anyway.

Meanwhile, we feel like we're just going to waste away in this basement for foreseeable future.

But we promise, our writing won't be this negative, we can't stay this negative...it's almost impossible...we have people for that :-)

~Frank et al