Saturday, October 8, 2011

Cracks In The Dam

However many have been reading our blog over the last 10 months, those who have read about our life, we don't know (if you have been, there is a synopsis, of sorts, of some of the years, over there on the right hand side under "The Chapters of Frank/How We Can To Be Us/Undressing We") but tonight we are here to do an angry-ish rant, and show some appreciation for The Father/Dad/Daddy/Daddy-O/Pops (all names we have, WE, have for him).
Today, which we will write about tomorrow, in more detail (maybe), we were met with totally uncalled for behavior...we wrote about the men we dealt with today last Sunday...and we've written about them in rather high regard prior to that day...which...turns a bunch of bullshit, and an error on our usual.
Long story short (writing more tomorrow while more sober) we went to deliver (as per the tenant board, and the police department) a (second attempt) Notice of Termination by Landlord For Non-Payment of Rent...
Don't know the whole story? Read here: 

Trying To Locate The "Human" In "Humanity" 

We won't get into that...BUT.
As many who have read about us know, we were raised Christian (sooooo not Christian anymore...) BUT, we can't help but think that being raised, mostly by The Father...primarily by The Father...that it, aside from our brains ability to split (we consider a blessing at this point, more to be written later), that having been raise by him is a blessing.
There is only a fraction of us that keeps us level headed, who make us understand, empathize & feel...for the scum, the humanity, that we encounter...always...
It's no secret that a large portion of us hate society...mouth breathing excuses for human beings who are so self-entitled and find lame justification to be so, to be lazy and worthless...and be assholes.
To the disabled men who rent our house..."disabled". *we laugh* We have worked in an environmental with MENTALLY disabled people who do more than you (said to those men who rent out house, those worthless fucks for an excuse of a human) who can't even hold a conversation.
However, the "men" who rent our property have enough intellegence to have normal jobs...believe us, we know...they work "under the table" hacking electronics, they work for car parts...they are no more disabled than you or I...they are lazy fucks.
In our last job there was a mentally disabled man who used to wash the walls and door handles, with the assistance of a worker...the only thing that made him different is that he didn't have the intelligence/ability to speak for himself (servery mentally disabled)...but he had a job. Seems to be, if you have the intelligence to speak for yourself, then you can get out of every level of being a capable human being. (except in the case of severe...SEVERE schizophrenia...we have known them, they are not capable of jobs). These men are capable of some type of work, just as much as any human who may have poor social skills...and mild disability. (which are basically the boys who rent from us right now)
We've personally struggles with a plethora of diagnoses: social anxiety, bipolar/manic depression, severe depression/schizophrenia (all written about here on this blog)...but we've never tried to hide and make excuses, we've never been on social assistance (except food stamps when in University). Not saying that all people with these diagnoses (because as a whole we are none of those, we "suffer" from something else) are the same, but we have seen these men...and they are cowards...and use bullshit excuses to try to thwart the system.
Is it wrong that someone with our level of mental illness looks down on other mentally ill, who we have to deal with on a personal it wrong that we can feel no compassion for them...?  We don't think so. I don't think so.

We got harassed by them today.

"Don't yell at me, I'll have seizure" one of them says, while he is yelling at US on the phone this evening...after he called us...he called us.

We, of course, are not yelling, but he won't let us talk. Then we start to yell on the third or forth call, so he will shut the fuck up (he kept hanging up every time we tried to explain the situation to him)...and so we call back because he needs to hear what we have to say; he yells...finally in one of the calls he lets us talk, and after so tells us we are harassing him on the phone and by coming to his house...the house we own when we were only trying to serve papers to him today (he refused to open the door to us) as dictated by the tenancy board of our city, and the police department, who told us they could not help in this matter ("we don't help people" were the police officers exact words), and that we should bring more than one person (after reading the criminal file of one of the tenants on the computer) to deliver the notice. Really, that's confidence instilling. Despite our hard-ass edge...we are still a female for fuck sake.

We are angry, obviously...BUT...tonight we are thinking about The Father...and over the last 10 months or so I have tried to instill in us the importance, that, despite the fact we hold none of the same religious belief system, there is something that was instilled in at least one of us...that prevents us from being the worst of human beings...sadly, as much as we hate to admit it, among us are those that care, those that are positive (and makes others of us ill about it)...and without them we would be a severely violent & angry, person; even, possibly, a serial killer...

Life shows us breaks, tiny cracks in its facade...but every day, every week, month, year...that we have to deal with the society as a's chipped away...and we only have The Father...him, to thank for our tough exterior, that can handle to sledge hammers of some point, despite years of what some of us feel are some point...he taught us something.

Thank you, The Father/Dad/Daddy/Daddy-O/Pops...for bringing us up right, despite not knowing a thing about us, or anything about we have ever endured...thank you for that...that thing we cannot explain...because some's that thing...that keeps the dam from breaking.


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