Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Tapestry of the Tools of Fate

Almost a year ago we met a guy in a pub (we wrote a blog post about it too, thankfully...: http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.co.uk/2011/05/we-tell-boy-in-pub-about-us.html), who had the distinction of being the first man we told about our mental "disorder" that we hadn't previously known. Apparently we were going through an experimental phase.

You can read about it if you want in the link we provided...it starts off a little...bland.

Today we got an e-mail from him, alluding to us being a "rich tapestry" ...suggesting we have drinks to have "a visit and provide a bit of colour into both our lives".

It seems sweet, and if we remember correctly he was a really nice guy; however, a year later we are in an entirely different country (two times over), have a boyfriend (who is amazing), and while it would be interesting to be friends with the first complete stranger we told about our "condition" in a bar, in person...we have enough colour in our lives...as always.

It's interesting though, how with a single shift, a single encounter, a sudden opportunity, one could be, and does, if you think about it, get lead on a path of inconceivable proportion.

We have had a lot of "big" events in our life as an adult, those being the ones we had some control over, and had each of us made our decisions differently our reality would be completely different (as far as the one outside of our head)...if we had done this, that or the other thing differently, we wouldn't have been here, there, or anywhere.

If we had never gotten married.
If we had succeeded in our suicide attempt at 21.
If we hadn't had the strength to leave our husband, an emotionally and mentally abusive man.
If we had been permanently hospitalized at any stage in our several diagnoses.
If we hadn't bothered going to University.
If we had decided not to take a risk and date a man in a different country...twice.
If we had allowed fear, distance, any other factor, to be the primary driving force in our life and decisions.

If we hadn't met the copious amounts of people, collectively, and had the experiences in our life...we would be in a different, perhaps worse, (better? probably not) place mentally.

Had we not bite fear in the neck, been a survivor on many occasions, over and over...what then.

If this young man we met in a bar nearly a year ago had contacted us more than a couple of times and we had become romantically interested in him, we probably wouldn't have met James. Last May, which is when we met this man in a pub, was right about the time our Twitter addiction started...that we can recall. We figure this because that evening at the bar we were more interested in the people in the bar, than the people in the phone, even though we already had a big following, and in "love" with Twitter*(we used to take Twitter on drinking adventures, walking around our neighborhood Tweeting, going to the grocery store, video store, ect., walking up and down the main drag on the weekends, dancing, drinking, sometimes crying). We had a conversation with a man in a bar, without being absorbed in Twitter. We were even using emoticons in our open Tweets...which, you know...who does that? (*laughs* not that it matters, but it was before we had rules for ourselves on Twitter...it's a personal thing.)

Ahhh, the early days.

Anyway. It was pretty strange to us that this guy decided nearly a year later to contact us, strange in a "Wow, how does he even remember us?" sort of way. But Pub Guy A...if you are reading this...it may be awhile before we reply to your e-mail...maybe ten months will do? *grins*

This is mostly a pointless post, except it's not.

Life. Be open to things, don't let fear guide you...every decision you make can lead you to something great...or not...but why sit around and be afraid of the negative side of the "what if's". Fate is what YOU make it...it won't show you a path, force you down it; it will give you the tools to blaze your own. That's the fate we like to believe in anyway.

The path started by others doesn't need to be the one you follow for the rest of your life.

~ Frank et al

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