Thursday, September 22, 2011

We’re Not Breaking Up With You, Twitter, But…

Trying To Do a Relationship Right, While Balancing Social Media
all links keep you here, on this blog, unless otherwise noted

So we have this guy living with us now. Some of us are pretty irritated by it, but they are generally a minority, which means they just have to deal with it; plus it’s going to take some adjustment. We've been alone, with each other, and loving it, for a year now.

Sadly one of the things about this new relationship is we are now going to have to schedule time to enjoy social media, more specifically, Twitter; meaning mostly responding to @'s…which takes up a giant part of our time on Twitter – general tweets can be done in mere minutes…it’s the social, not the providing entertainment part (General Tweets), that’s a time consumer.

Big deal! You say. It's only Twitter…

Well, that's like saying, "Big deal, they are only friends!"

We have a lot of friends, and acquaintances, on Twitter, as a matter of fact, aside from Girl Crush, all of our friends in the world are on Twitter (including Fabulous People, a real life friend), all the people we talk to, and some we consider our family. People who know who we are, about us, the things that nobody in our life have ever known…because on Twitter…everyone can flock together.

Now, our immediate blood relations are not on Twitter (Baby Brother is, but we don’t think he uses it much), we visit with them on Facebook, where, incidentally, some of our followers on Twitter, who are our friends on Facebook hang out with us too.  We don’t speak to our family much, ours is the kind that goes months without correspondence. As a matter of fact we have not spoken to The Mother since she was here visiting back in March (which we thought we had written about, but...can't find the entry for), though we did send her a Facebook message letting her know we were going to be arriving back home, tolive with her, again, soon.

All the people who we enjoy talking to are on Twitter, and we also enjoy meeting new people...we love Twitter, as anyone who follows us and has read our social media entries knows. Usually we dedicate a blog entry a week, to every week and a half, to social media, which currently mostly means Twitter….though we are researching and learning more about Klout, and Google +

There isn't a way to do Twitter right (in our opinion, as we’ve written about in You’re Doing Twitter Wrong)...there is, however, a way to do relationships right, platonic and romantic; and we aim to find that balance. Find that balance with our new friends in social media, our new boyfriend in real life…while trying to have time for ourselves.

Big deal?

Well, part of mental health is balancing life (and we're all about mental health...well...some of us); people are part of life, and setting time aside to do what you enjoy is important to a healthy mind, and preventing burn out.

We came home from work yesterday and suggested to James (The Boyfriend) that we come up with, and agree, on time set aside for us to Tweet. He was very happy, and pleased, that we offered a compromise; he knows it will not be easy…

Oh, that's crazy. You say. Twitter shouldn't take up so much of your time, or affect your relationship!*

Guess what, that's like saying you shouldn't watch any television when you get home at night, to relax...or watch a movie, or listen to music...or get high…or have a drink...or spend time with your friends, unless your significant other is with you; or don’t do it all, it’s stupid!

Just because you spend your time the way you do, doesn’t mean the way other people spend their time is any less important.

We don't watch TV; we don’t listen to music, but when those of us who like music listen to it, it is played while on Twitter, and they share it with our friends, sometimes. We don't watch movies, much anymore (maybe 6 all year so far)...we don't go out to eat...much. 

We write, we paint, for enjoyment, but also for therapy; and our entertainment is Twitter.

James has written in his blog about us (that link takes you off of our blog) and Twitter, at least once; about how much we use it, and the kind of time we put in talking to people, following people back, culling lists (which is important…to us); about how much of ourselves we “give” to Twitter, as he perceives it. He says our Twitter usage shouldn't bother him so much because, after all, it's where he met us, after reading about us first here on the blog.

Yes, roll your eyes, it's pathetic, or rather, you think we are, for the amount of ourselves we give for something you think is “only” something. Luckily we don't give a fuck what you think. Our time is our time, just like yours is yours.

We do feel a certain amount of guilt, however, when we are on Twitter and he is tooling around the house, doing whatever, even back when he was only visiting, not living, like he is now. 

We start feeling it at work, when we are excited about getting home to him, but also excited to see what our Tweeple have been up to all day, and then we stress out and get agitated about not having enough time, in addition to all the other reasons we get stressed and agitated.

We also realize that if we spent all our free time with him then we would grow tired of each other, and we are two weeks from unemployment, and a long stretch of winter spending 24/7 with him, and he with us, living with The Mother. Balance, and then more balance.

So, once in awhile we may be writing about mental health, balancing relationships, and social media; or in a broader sense, balancing time in life to include personal time doing what we want, or rather, how important it is to spend free time enjoying yourself.

In the meantime, we’re sorry Twitter, and Tweeple friends, Twitter loves…we may not be able to get to all your @’s, at least not as quickly as you all were once used to…we hope you understand. For now, we’ll try our best.


*Social media affects many relationships…if you Google social media and relationships there are many entries written by legitimate professional publications (like Psychology Today that are researching and discussing the impact social media has on relationships. In addition, they are studying it as a legitimate addiction.

1 comment:

  1. I think you just spent a whole blog post explaining something to people who most likely already get it and in no way want to judge you for something they do themselves! In other words, darlin', we're ALL twitter/facebook/google+/skype/whatever addicts and I think it's rather cool and grown-up of you to be willing to compromise in order to make another person a little bit happier. Because you know what? When you make the people you love/like/respect/enjoy happy, it almost always makes YOU happier also!