Sunday, December 18, 2011

When The Father Follows Our Twitter Account

Well...we suppose it was bound to happen.
Last Friday (9 days ago) when James and us got home from a walk and a late lunch we had a bit of a surprise.
I  had went to the washroom when we got home and while there heard Angry Brother came in the front door. We could hear him talking and then silence. We sat there and wondered how long we would have to stay in the washroom before he would leave, but finally resolved to get it over with. We came down the stairs babbling about something inane and turned the corner and there was The Father.
We hadn't spoken to him in months, part our doing, and part his. We had given him the number to The Mothers house shortly after we arrived here the end of October....but the phone goes both ways, and in this went neither.
We were shocked in a way that did not register on our face and so he had assumed that James had sent us a tweet from the kitchen letting us know he was there (what, like you don't bring your phone to the washroom...liar). Of course James had not...we were just...stunned.

In addition, not many of us like surprises, especially those that require us to turn around and leave the house again after being out; most people know how we hate being
out there; even if it was to go get ice cream. While we tried to collect ourselves (by that we mean deal with the internal dialogue going on with each other, like a world-wind of thought bubbles and you're trying to catch one) The Father says "You going to Tweet?"

"No." we said. We recalled
this past spring/summer when him and Baby Brother came to visit us where we used to live before the move, and there was a "no tweeting" rule.

"Well, why not? You Tweet ever couple of minutes!" he said, smirking.

We stared at him.

"I follow your account you know" he laughed, making a comment about the "F" word, and other various things.

Our father is a Christian Republican man...and, uh...have you
read our Tweets?!

We stood can we
not Tweet about this right now (panic)? But we held back while our timeline flashed before our eyes like your life does before you die; we're guessing anyway...we've only been unconscious from a car accident...the only thing that flashed before our eyes was the side of a semi-truck we were plowing towards at upwards of 70 mph, before we covered our face with out eyes.

Most notably was a tweet we had
just sent referencing using hot wing sauce as lube, and a quip about "ranch dressing" to cool your lips. Yeah, we had gone out for wings for lunch...our Tweets don't just come from nowhere...we live-tweet our life...sometimes you'd never guess it because the things that come out of our mind and into words on Twitter probably seem obscure to you, but they are generally related to something in our environment, an experience we just had, or things that pop out of our brain while we complete various tasks.

So there you have it. The Father comes for a visit and now we know, he 
and The Mother both follow us on Twitter (we found out she's been following us back in October when she and The Stepfather came to help us move). It's not shocking to us...surprising though because of the sudden interest he has with our day-to-day ("Tell me about your day" he smiles over a coffee, and then interrupts and says "I know exactly what you do all day" grinning...because he follows us on Twitter

We say we can't be shocked about him following us on Twitter because as many people know we are
US on Twitter, we are not pretending to be someone we are not, and as such our Twitter account is attached to our Facebook account, which is also attached to this blog which is the accounts of our entire lives from our earliest accounted memory...which The Father reads...("So, I suppose I'll be reading about this visit on Sunday" he says. HA! No...but a week later you are, dad). This blog, attached to our Facebook account where both parents and both brother's are our 'Friends', as well as Fuck Face, and Fabulous People, and up until this weekend an ex-"girlfriend" (the girl from culinary school we've written about), because we are not trying to hide (other than in our house/apartment most of the time, but that's just because we can't handle "out there" very well lately) who we are anymore, the only thing we hide is the name on our birth certificate, because some day we will need to find work again. (We will not be on disability for our mental health issues or our physical issues)

We ultimately took the news about The Father...
okay, and tried to convince ourselves that this was not going to alter the nature of our Tweets, we still need to be us there, it is the outlet that helps us be sane, it is the outlet that saved our life this year. However, it has prevented us (hopefully temporarily) from tweeting as much (believe it or not...) because we are not all okay with this new finding. One of us had a cry about it, sobbing about fairness, the night we found out, and then we talked to our friend @alleyfitz about it, and most of us decided that it wasn't the most terrible thing, because we don't want to be someone we are not with The Father, or The Mother...any immediate family...anyway. (Aunts and uncles don't need to know much about who we are, though we've written about The Father sharing with an uncle). We decided, just as we did before, that we want to have a good relationship with The Father and you can't build one of those on lies, and pretending to be someone you are not.

The visit with The Father was nice, he got to meet James/The Boyfriend for the first time; they
had met on Skype very briefly once; no doubt after a few good weeks of observing him on Twitter too he came with some preconceived notions about James (which were probably correct). Let's just say James wasn't completely thrilled with this.

Our favourite part of their meeting?

"So, what are your intentions with my daughter?" dad asks, sipping coffee.

"Entirely dishonorable" James a says, without falter, while eating a spoon of ice cream.

We talked a bit with The Father about Grandma, you see he was in the area to begin with because last weekend was the two year anniversary of our Grandpa's passing, which
we wrote a little memorial about last Sunday, and he and some of our aunts had gone to see grandma, who is not doing so well. 

All in all it was a nice surprise, as far as surprises go with us...

And so now Twitter really
is our big "happy" dysfunctional family.

~Frank et al

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