Saturday, October 20, 2012

Accidental Optimism

Collectively we're not the most negative people in the world. Which might be surprising to a lot of people who don't know us well.

This "accidental" optimism causes disappointment pretty often, especially since we're prone to trying new things and forging forward with living. It would be so much easier if we just became content with staying in the same place and becoming a zombie and burning our dreams at their birth.

We have too much hope, is the problem. And not the problem. It probably has something to do with having survived despite so many strange odds, mishaps and types abuse. Hopeful must just be in our blood.

It probably drives James crazy, because he is a pessimist. It does drive him crazy. We get hopeful, and he gets opposite. While some might say he is just being a realist, to our shades of optimism sometimes his approach seems defeatist. He hates seeing us disappointed, which is probably the part that drives him the most crazy.

Of course he experiences much less disappointment, like most "realists", or "pessimists", than we do, on average. If one thinks the worst of every situation, then when it turns out bad like how they expect then they're less disappointed than if they had held high hopes for it to turn out good.

But then, there is far less happy hopeful feelings overall in that situation. 

This is a lot of off the cuff babble, but we're trying to work through a potential disappointment that we are teetering on the edge of (which we wrote about on our Tumblr blog last night: and it's going to be a long weekend. And we need to just get stuff out and work through things, and it's always easier with words on "paper", than words swimming in our head, being squished and tossed back and forth between the players in our head.

It's hard to walk a solid line of pessimism, but we're not sure if that walk looks like something we are even capable of. We just want hope. We always want hope.

Without hope, there is no need for strategy, without strategy there is no moving forward.

That's just a philosophy of sorts, we suppose.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Frankie,

    I have to say I am also an optimist, but I think you already knew that :) and my darling hubby is a pessimist - ahem I mean realist of course. So am aware of how that relationship goes! And it's funny - he also wants to protect me from hurt and disappointment. And I would rather imagine the fairy tale. So - when I am in the middle of a fairytale fantasy, his dose of realism is often the last thing I want to hear! And when he is in the middle of imagining some kind of worst case scenario, the last thing he wants to hear is that 'I'm sure everything will turn out well'. It's safer for me to imagine the good (it's what keeps me going, I don't think I could cope with anything in life if I already expected things to turn out badly) - and him shiedling himself from potential disappointment is what he sees to be the safest option.
    But someone has to be right - right?
    Unsurprisingly, it seems the ladies are 'right' again! Have been reading about lots of things like 'The Law Of Attraction' and Universal Law, and it seems to be a universal principal that the more good we focus on the more good we will attract - and vice versa. Focusing on the good actually can helps us to manifest that good in our lives. So it really is much more helpful to focus on good outcomes, this can help us to achieve the good outcomes because our positive visualistion is being sent to the universe and the universe can hear us!
    Of course we might not always achieve our dreams exactly as we visualise them - but things in life almost never turn out as we think they will! So what is the point in focusing on the negative when things may turn out to be positive? Then we will have brought only negativity to the equation uselessly! It's a big waste of energy if nothing else. And... if things do go wrong (by the way I don't believe in this concept per se, as believe everything happens for a reason :))then we will just have to deal with it at the time in whatever way we know how at the time. No amount of worry will change or help this reality.

    As a wise person once said, 'Aim for the moon and if you miss, at least you'll land amongst the stars' and I couldn't agree more.

    Here's to star searching, moon reaching, fantasy creating and dream manifestation - and here's to happy, supportive, positive, optimistic husbands who help us make our dreams come true with their own belief in and positive support of our dreams!!!!

    With loads of Love

    Hannah xx