Monday, May 20, 2013

A Petri Dish

While it might make him (James) sad/angry/upset, most of us have decided that we will no longer be signing our names to blog entries. It's something we discussed, and thought about, on the long drive to and from work today.

Truth be told, we've scaled back on it anyway, to prevent being picked apart, so to speak.

But when it comes to our personal life, our day-to-day with James, it can make things...complicated.
He is a sensitive man, when it comes to us.
When he feels he doesn't know which one of us he is dealing with he gets stressed, sad, upset, withdrawn.
When he finds out one of his "favorites" was around (he has them, he loves us all...but we are not all his favourite. Nor should we he) and he didn't "recognize" them he gets sad, because he perceives his inability to detect each of us as some sort of personal failing; of course he'd never say it's a failing of himself, nor should he - nor would we. (I have a pretty good handle on how his mind works by now, so I feel comfortable commenting in such a way)


He says some of us have changed; but where he sees change...we just see people...

To be more specific, each of us are different from each other, some more subtly than others, but within each of us is a person, however fragmented or not.
Like any person, each of us are different depending on our mood, so when, say...Catherine is stressed, she may seem different; she will handle stress differently than, say Ivy, or Cassandra, but she will still be the same, just her under stress (or her depressed, or sad, or happy).
Just like when your friend/wife/husband/brother/sister/mother/father/coworker is stressed they seem a bit of a "different" person...but they are still the same.

Does that even make sense?

Sometimes we get confused why some think these same human concepts don't apply to those in a DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) system.

Not only is there the being people, but as we are on a road to constant healing, that means we will change a little, each of us, when we are ready, independently. Just like people change over periods of their life.

Guess it can get confusing.
Why is he even in a relationship with us?

So to wrap it up.
Yesterday we signed off on a blog entry, and it caused a bit of confusion, sadness, and...a mood that we can only describe as uniquely James...(because Ivy is one of his favorites...we all know it)

We (many of us) really don't like when that happens.
So we won't be signing our blog posts anymore. (providing we all come back to this entry to know why, or pass on the information).

You know, we're normal...though it might not seem like it to a lot of people...and we just want to feel normal; in our social interactions, in our friendships, and in our relationships.

Sometimes it feels like we're growing in a petri dish.

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