Friday, April 13, 2012

Broken Pain


Have you ever had the kind of pain that makes being slowly run over seem like relief?

No matter what we do it gets worse. It must be the weather that's making it worse than the regular every day pain. Maybe it's my fault. James tries to help by rubbing our muscles, but like our massage therapist from last year said; the one who made house calls [because we could barely leave the house because of Catherine] to give us deep tissue massages when we could barely walk home from work anymore, when we stumbled and cried all the way from the pain, and so many massage therapist before him; we have days of hours of work to be done just to get to a decent level.

Our body builds knots everyday, and they merge with other knots and create a glacier of knotted muscle until we can barely move our neck, and the mere touch of a hand on our body makes our skin scream for more. Desperate pain.

We can stretch, we can cry - over the counter medications does nothing.

We are broken. I am broken. We do not all feel pain the same, thankfully; otherwise we would be disabled. Instead we can share it, one by one.

We do not feel well today, yesterday...this week. We are trying.


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