Frankie Goes to Vegas

While we have plenty of travel journals from over the past several years (for those posts go here: http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/p/travel.html), this is less a travel journal entry, and more of a tips for doing Vegas.
This was the third trip to Las Vegas in the past 8 years, which gives a bit of credibility to what we're about to say.
The first trip was a week long, the second was 3 days, and this one was 3 and a half days.
Each trip was a bit different, the first two were with a group of friends (Canadians) - the base participants of which were the same both times. We were trained in the skills of chilling and vacationing by a very adept group of individuals, and shepherded on our first trip by a seasoned Vegas traveler. We'll call the culmination of both of these trips 'Trip A' because they shared so many similarities.

This third trip, however, was with James (The Husband). James isn't much of a drinker (he had a beer, one liquor drink, and a couple of glasses of champagne the entire trip. He did manage to drink almost a whole bottle of vanilla vodka over the course of the weekend, but you'd never know it). Nor is he much of a gambler.
Or a person who likes to be around more than a few people.
Also. He's British...the kind with underlying ginger (red-haired) characteristics (read: pasty)...so you can imagine how much he likes to sit in the sun (not at all, generally).
He DOES like to eat though, and so that's what he would probably say is his favourite thing about Vegas.
It goes without saying that the third trip was the least favourite from a "personal" perspective. Which is okay. It was a bit of a work-related venture, after all.
We'll call this Trip B.

The following is going to be a breakdown, from snout to tail, so to speak, from choosing when to go, to booking your flight and hotel, to leaving Vegas.

The Husband's main tip would be, this being his fist time: If you can, go to Vegas with someone who has been there before.

Las Vegas Boulevard, May 8, 2016 (c) Frank et al

WHO TO GO WITH
Friends. Go with friends. *raises hands towards the sky* Go with a lot of friends.
The more the better. Go with people you can mix and match, swap off a few hours with different ones. Especially if you are going for more than three days. More than three days with the same three people, who you're probably sharing a room with...is too much.
Limit the amount of couples in the group, too. Especially if you know that at least one of them is prone to fighting with each other no matter where they are.
So make it a friends trip, leave the other halves, the "better halves", at home. The combination of sexes is not as important (but obviously being the only girl, or only guy, on a group Vegas vacation can have its disadvantages).

UNLESS you're the type of person who doesn't like to party, drink, take part in some shenanigans, maybe do something out of the ordinary, etc. Maybe you just want to see a show, look at some lights, have a nice meal, and be in bed by 10. If that's the case go with someone like you. Seriously. You're not fun.

WHEN TO GO
First, you want to go between Memorial Day and Labor Day. You just do. The weather the rest of the time isn't as stable. Yes. It's going to be hot, and probably dry those three month - but hot and dry Vegas is better than hot and wet Vegas, and it's leaps and bounds better than cool and wet Vegas.
Trip A (both) was during July-August - the time of year it's highly unlikely to rain more than a short sun shower and you can fry an egg on the sidewalk. You have to enter every casino along the strip just to get a hit of air conditioning (and maybe a fresh drink), or a shop along the way to get a can of something alcoholic and cold to drink (you can drink on the sidewalks in Vegas). You sweat just thinking about stepping outdoors and nobody wants to wear much clothing. It may sound terrible, but it's not. Terrible is wearing a short dress and open heels in chilly weather walking through puddles of water - as was the case with Trip B. Or wearing a light jacket. Or not going to Vegas in the summer.

Now. If you plan to venture outside of Vegas (something we have yet to do - but plan to) then you may be interested in going any of the other 9 months of the year - because hiking in the desert when it's pushing 120 degrees Fahrenheit (that's 50 degrees Celsius to the rest of the World) is probably going to suck cactus balls.

DATES TO AVOID: Chinese New Year Weekend, Presidents’ Day Weekend, St. Patrick’s Day Weekend, Easter Weekend, Mother's Day Weekend, Memorial Day Weekend, Father's Day Weekend, Fourth of July Weekend, Mother's Day Weekend, Labor Day Weekend, Mexican Independence Day Weekend (September), Columbus Day Weekend, Thanksgiving Weekend, Christmas Holiday, New Years Eve & Day 

So why avoid these dates? Do you like spending more money than you have to?
*See THE FLIGHT (AND HOTEL), and THE FOOD for more information about that.

THE FLIGHT (AND HOTEL)
For Trip A the flights were booked as a package with the hotel. You can find these types of trips all over online. The best for this, as far as we've seen, is Allegiant Airlines. They are a "small airline" with many direct flights all over the country. All three trips have been taken with this airline. They seem to have the best prices. For instance, Trip B was easily $400 cheaper per person than other flights during the same time frame, from airports near us. However, Allegiant has very specific days they fly to Las Vegas - Thursdays and Sundays - so you may feel pegged into a shorter trip than you want to take if you, say, want to stay five days.
***Be Aware: with airlines like Allegiant you will be nickle and dim'ed:
A personal item (like a purse or backpack) is free, a carry-on is $35+, a checked bag is $50+ [under 40 lbs]; if you book with a credit card you pay a couple dollars extra; want to make sure you sit next to your travel partnerI(s)? Pick your seats...but that'll cost you. Want them to print your boarding pass? That'll cost you, so print your own.
Once you're on the flight nothing is free - no little bag of pretzels or a water. You're not allowed to bring your own little bottles of alcohol anymore (it's against federal regulations now and results in a $3000 fine) but if you had a small 3 oz flask you could probably get away with buying a can of soda and discretely topping it up with the good stuff rather than pay $7 for an airplane version.
It all adds up.
As far as flights are concerned, always, always, shop around. And if you can be flexible with your dates you'll be better off and save some cash.

Trip B was booked separate, with flight via Allegiant and hotel, because it seemed like we'd save about $30-50 a night, via Hotels.com. It was not worth it. Normally Hotels.com is the go-to pet favourite for all things accommodations. Up until Trip B it has been a great source for hotel savings everywhere we've went. Not so much for Vegas.

Having previously stayed at the MGM (for a week the first trip to Vegas) it wasn't too disappointing when James asked to stay there (because it's "the movie hotel") - even though we'd have rather stayed at The Aria because we'd stayed there the last time, it has more of a central location, and it's still pretty new, for about the same price. However, the MGM is a decent hotel as far as the comfort of the casino floor goes and the general ambiance. And the room there for Trip A was amazing, large, spacious, big comfortable bed, ample bathroom facility. Inside and out it was a great accommodation.

Turns out, however, it was disappointing.
For Trip B, the Hotel.com booking, we were what can only described as "banished" to the West Wing. This is clearly the older wing of the hotel - blocked off for discount travelers no doubt - but you don't know it until about halfway down the very long hall corridor when suddenly the wide hallway, with its tasteful wallpaper and carpet, narrow, and the hall gets a little darker, and the carpet not so fresh and clean in appearance or quality, and it's clear you're in some sort of discount hotel/motel alternate universe portal of punishment; and if you read reviews on Hotel.com, which we didn't bother to do until post-stay, as a guest of this wing you will not be the only one feeling that somehow...you should have taken them up on their "$30 a night upgrade" at the front desk check-in. And question why they hate you for coming to Vegas and wanting to save some benjamins.

That being said...GO BACK AND GET AN UPGRADE IF YOU END UP IN A PART OF THE HOTEL, OR A ROOM, YOU DON'T LIKE.
The room was pretty bad. Very visible signs of age; the shower leaked all over the floor; the water in the sink never got cold and was just sorta of weird tasting; the lighting throughout the room, including the vanity, was terrible (terrible mirrors and lighting are not a girl's friend in Vegas!); the toilet didn't really flush so great; the bedding and bed wasn't that comfortable (compared to that of Trip A), the air conditioning unit was loud; there were no common amenities you'd find in a hotel room like a fridge, microwave or coffee maker; the room was small and the hallway was noisy. The halls were loud - every time someone in the vicinity was entering or leaving their room it made it sound like someone was at your door - hearing people talking in the hall at all hours, however, is just par for the Las Vegas course.

So, we actually did not get an upgrade due to budget constraints. If it had been less of a work related trip, at a less than financially ideal time for The Husband (who was basically tagging along), then it would have been a mistake not to take the upgrade. You win some. You lose some. Next time we're skipping Hotels.com all together and booking an airport/hotel package, or directly with the hotel (which, by the way, sometimes comes with hotel credits and perks that you will not find booking through a budget travel site).

If you're going to do Vegas...DO VEGAS. It's not the time for a cheap hotel special like if you're going to South Dakota to see Mount Rushmore, or to gaze on a big ball of twine or a world's largest whatever.

*Previously mentioned Dates to Avoid - Flights are a bit more expensive than the rest of the optimal time to visit Vegas, and the Hotels are also more expensive. Especially if you're staying near the venue where there's an event...

Other events to be aware of: Boxing matches, UFC fights, and other big sporting events. The price of your hotel may be increased significantly.

Hidden Fees:  Otherwise known as Resort Fees, these fees are not included in your online quotes or in your package booking the majority of the time and, depending on the hotel, can be upward of $30 per room per night. Which means if you're staying for three nights add $100+ more dollars to your estimate costs. These fees are to cover things like wi-fi access (this day and age that's an increasingly bullshit charge), access to the fitness center and a free newspaper. These depend on the hotel/casino and are unusually in fine print somewhere on their website.

SHUTTLE SERVICE:
Don't take a cab. Either take a shuttle or a (stretch) limo. Trip A involved taking a limo, which is inexpensive when the cost is split among a group of friends, and it is a wicked cool way to roll up to a hotel casino. Plus you can start drinking right away in a limo. It's just far superior.
The shuttle is okay. You may think that $15-18 (depending on if you pre-reserve the tickets) per person sounds like a lot because the airport is not that far from the strip, but with traffic it can cost a lot, and you'll have to (unless you're a dick) tip your cabby more than you trip a shuttle driver.

PACKING
Some of these will be super obvious, but they warrant going over.
Top down - and these are a minimum. How many of each is up to you and your airline baggage restrictions:
1. A hat of some sort if you plan to be outdoors - that goes for men and women.
2. A top for each weather incident: tank, short sleeve, and a long sleeve (especially if you're going in a "colder" month).
3. A pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, a skirt and a dress.
4. Swimsuit - someting you are comfortable wearing before a buffet, and something you're comfortable wearing two buffets in.
5. Footwear
Shoes. SHOES. Ladies. Listen. You may think those 4 inch, 6 inch, whatever "whore" heels, you wanna strut your sexy badass stuff around The Vegas Strip on will be just fine for a night...but unless you are used to living in those torture decks break in something that's sturdy, comfortable, and sexy to wear with your dresses for your nights on the town.
Every single trip we have done this wrong. No more wrong that this most recent trip when the only comfortable pair of shoes we had was a pair of HokaOne running shoes we brought for using in the fitness center. Shoes that we've been running in for months. You get the smelly picture.
So choose wisely.
And men. You want a couple of pairs of shoes too.
At the very least you should all, men and women, have at least one pair of comfortable sandals - both for walking and for going from the pool to your room - which can be a very long walk all on its own.

Some other random things: Sunblock, After Sun lotion or gel (you will probably get a light burn if you haven't bothered with a base tan and don't spend much time outdoors normally), bandages (for when you don't heed the footwear advice), a water bottle, and at least one flask.

THE ALCOHOL
Alcohol is EXPENSIVE in Vegas. We know what you're thinking..."but I heard if you sit at the slot machines or gambling tables the waitresses bring you free alcohol"...and you're thinking right, but it's not that simple.
During Trip A, about 6 years ago, and the trip the prior year, the waitresses were great (depending on the casino, of course). They were really attentive and good with bringing the drinks (as watered down as they were).
Now? Not so good. They were hard to scout out, and when you got the rare one to bring you a drink they were weak. As James said, when we asked how the one drink he managed to get from a casino waitress was, "Well. I can tell she opened the liquor bottle in the vicinity of my drink".
And then there's the matter of free. The longer you sit waiting for the waitress to get to you, should she even choose to do so (we had one waitress who kept saying she'd be right back and she never actually stopped to take our drink order any of the times), and then wait for her to bring you a drink, you could easily drop $20-60 into a slot machine - depending on how fast you are at pressing the botton and how tight the machine is. Then if you actually get a drink you should tip $1-2 - $2 if you ever want to see her again. So it's not really free.
That's the casino floor (and that was the MGM, where we spent most of our slot time this trip).

Restaurants and bars can get pretty expensive. For example, Pub 1842 in the MGM, a double mid-to-low-shelf Gin with water was $22. Some dance bars have minimums for table service (if you want to go with a group of people and sit at a table together it can cost you into the thousands -getting a table is table service, otherwise you stand for the most part).

If you get the bottomless champagne/mimosa brunch option - which is mandatory at some casino buffets during certain holidays (and costs extra) - the champagne can be very low quality. [Note: The champagne at Mandalay Bay Seaside Buffet is way better quality than the champagne at the MGM Grand Buffet].

So what to do.

Bring a flask and a water bottle. Make your own drinks and carry them with you to cut down on at least some of the daytime drinking costs and if you plan to just plop your ass down at some slot machines.

There are places to buy liquor on the strip - Walgreen's, CVS, some random bodega-type souvenir shops, and some more upscale souvenir shops; and the price of the liquor is reasonable. A 750 ml bottle of Gin at the Walgreen's was about $33 after tax, which is absolutely reasonable, especially if you noted that what was equal to two shots (and you know what, it didn't taste like two shots) was $22 at the restaurant in the MGM.

Fill your flask (it's also handy to use if you wanna boost up those watered down "free" casino drinks should you choose that route), mix your drink in your water bottle (unless you're using it for something silly, like staying hydrated in the hot sun ;-p), and just go about your public drinking.
It's a personal favourite Vegas activity and it saves money.

THE FOODAhhh. The food.
The kind of excess that would make a Greek vomitorium blush.
But first...
While you're getting your liquor, grab some snacks to have kicking around your room. If you don't make sure to eat throughout the day you will not get your full value out of the buffet - should you choose to buffet. You have to keep your stomach working (it's science, look it up).
A favourite thing to do it get a giant pizza the first night that you have no intention on finishing at that time (unless your traveling posse is large) and then snack on that over the span of a few days.

At the buffet always choose protein first. Yes, the pasta looks good, but it will fill you up and stand between you and one of the many decadent protein options that can be found in Vegas - Kobe beef and spicy tuna hand roll at the Bellagio, shrimp and crab legs, sausages, roasts of every animal, exotic fish...

At brunch the mini waffles, pancakes, and french toast fingers may be calling your name, but they are just trying to steal the thunder of your heart from the breakfast links, the cheesy scrambled eggs, the smoked salmon, all of the amazing savory offerings - both traditional and non - that you can't get at your local Denny's, and the dessert table waiting in the wings. If you have room at the end hit up a mini waffle for some love, but don't blow it all on simple cheap starchy carbs.

If you decide to Buffet what you choose is probably up to several searches via the internet, and some recommendations from people you know.
Here are our recommendations: Mandalay Bay, and the Bellagio, are wonderful.
Mandalay Bay for brunch, and The Bellagio for dinner, specifically. They both have table service too, so a waiter or waitresses is bringing your drinks and you don't have to waste time schlepping to a soda fountain or a juice machine,
While there, the Mandalay Bay brunch had lamb osso bucco (and it was amazing), beef oxtail, and a good assortment of ethnic offerings (the pork sticky buns were great). The desserts at Mandalay for brunch were also a better assortment than that of the Bellagio at dinner.
Now. The Bellagio. It's literally a world renowned buffet. They have Kobe beef (look it up if you don't know what it is), blini with an assortment of caviar to choose from, a lot of sushi, piles of seafood, and enough roasted meats to make a grown man blush.
The buffet to skip is definitely The MGM Grand Buffet.

Don't go starving. You may think that's the answer to satisfying your gluttonous desires, but alas, it is not.

*Previously mentioned Dates to Avoid - during Holidays there is no Breakfast at most casino buffets- they default to Brunch - often being offered with all you can drink champage and mimosas.
Brunch costs about $10 more per person than breakfast. The price of all other meals are increased by about that same amount. So if you're paying for the meals of two people over three days and you buffet four times you're talking about $100 more to add onto your food budget

Note: While $30-40 on brunch may seem like a lot for a buffet, often times it's almost all you can eat in a day - you're likely to spend the rest of it digesting that meal and topping it with liquor. If you're the type to steer clear of restaurants (which are equally, and often more, expensive) you can probably get by with a food budget, for yourself, of about $75 a day.
If you're planning on eating at famous food chains - even if they are chains not available in parts of your state, like some of the people we shared an airport shuttle with, just go away now and never read this blog again. Seriously. Close the browser.

WHAT TO DO
Plan on tipping.  Everywhere. There's guides about tipping you can look up so you can get an idea of the tipping structure. Do it.

Take the Trams when you can after you get a good hard walk of the strip under your belt. There are three free ones that have limited stops and they aren't very well advirtised, and there's the monorail - $12 for unlimited one-day, and a three-day pass is under $30 - it is totally worth it...it'll save your feet and hours of wasted time walking...and just may allow you to pack that ultra high-heeled Single White Female kill-him stilettos, ladies.

If you can make it to one of the two outlet malls, do it. But make sure you have baggage allowance wiggle room. The Las Vegas North Premium Outlets have been a favourite two times running. This last time didn't offer a chance for shopping, but rather a walk through the lot of the Las Vegas South Premium Outlets. Either way you'll need a cab (or bus) to get there. It's worth it, especially if you want to get off of the strip for a few hours.

Fremont Street (Old Vegas) is also fun...in the summer. It's a great place to party...but don't plan on walking there, no matter how reasonable the distance looks like on a map. Take a bus or a cab. In the summer they have a load of outdoor events and it's like a big street party. Plus it's got all the old casinos, it's a bit nostalgic, and you can still get a circa 60s and 70s Vegas style$7.99/9.99 all you can eat steak buffet in some of those casinos. Just remember. You're going to get what you pay for...and maybe even more after a few hours.

Gambling. Obviously.

Eating. Duh

So here's the thing. In the combined two weeks of time spent in Vegas we've never been to a show or concert. It's not our thing. It's expensive, and unless we're gonna see Neil Diamond, we'll catch one of those acts somewhere else. And as far as theater...Fringe Fests are more our bag. We can't really give you any tips on those.

Oh. Strip clubs. They are expensive as hell. The best one, and this is based on a bias, is Sapphire. The bias is because it's the only one under our belt so far, and we spent more than 7 hours at it on one of our trips. The longer you stay past 2 or 3, the lower the "quality" the ladies, but whatever, they have boobs. Isn't that all that matters? Plus, being female, we are allowed to touch those boobs (and sometimes other parts). And we did, and ladies danced on our lap, and made faces about the boys/men who were leering at it all as if to say can you believe those losers these guys are (even though she was clearly going to enjoy the extra money from this happening) and it was a fun time. But expensive. Once you get there (don't take a cab, they say if you call the club they send a car to pick you up) you pay a cover charge (can be more than $30 just to get in the door), and then you tip the door guy if you want a good experience, and then there's the price of the drinks (no less than $15 each), and the lap dances (at least $20 each), and if you bring female friends with you then you better be buying them drinks (especially if they are "conservative" or "uptight" and you want to watch a girl dance on their lap and watch as another woman rubs her bare breasts all over her).

Walking. You're going to do A LOT of walking. Everything looks like it's close, but it's not. It's an optical allusion. Just getting to the pool at your hotel, or getting out of the hotel, can take 15-20 minutes.

LEAVING LAS VEGAS
Ask to have an extra hour added to your checkout time if you have an afternoon flight. They have "deals" if you want to make checkout even later, but if you're only looking for an hour you may be able to get it for free, and it can make a difference.
Pack all your bags before you leave the room, like if you're planning on a final buffet, so when you get back you have less stress to deal with. Get to your airport two to two and a half hours early as directed, the lines can be longer than you'd think.
And finally...
These days, if you're not careful, What happens in Vegas doesn't so much stay in Vegas, rather gets put on social media, and lives forever on the internet...(take people you trust.


FINAL THOUGHTS

So what did The Husband think of the trip?
"It's just a giant hole where you throw money"
But he wants to go back.

Vegas is way more commercial than the Vegas of old. People used to be able to go "on a shoestring"...that Vegas is dead. You can still do it thrifty...but is that really doing Vegas right?

The most important thing is go knowing you're going to spend money. Plan to spend more money than you plan to spend. Prepare for that so you can have a fun and relaxing time.
If you get a $60+ dinner bill for an appetizer, a burger, a double shot of liquor, and a beer? Don't panic. Laugh it off and move on. If we've learned anything from traveling with Canadians over the years it's how to take a chill vacation. Don't worry about it ON vacation, correct for it (like, don't go back to that restaurant, make sure to ask about the price of something if you're concerned about budget). If you worry about it on vacation you'll risk missing out on the fun you could have, and that's really the only reason for vacation - to have fun - not to stress.

Have fun in Vegas!

Our favourite Vegas song....

If you have been to Vegas and have any additional tips, advice, observations, please feel free to add them in the comment selection below! :-)

Diary of the Guinea Pigs: Day One

As previously mentioned, in order to pay the remaining tuition for this semester it was decided that we would take part in a research study (like this past June so we could take a trip to Toronto) ... this one, however, is much larger, and longer, and requires some significant sacrifice. But pays a substantial amount of money.

It's a 26 day study, broken up into 13 day stretches, with two weeks in between. Of those 13 days, 11 days require living at the facility (which works out great because it is campus adjacent - no commute!). Leaving the facility is only allowed for work and school, and one of the weekends leaving is not allowed at all, and also the Friday and Saturday the following week. However, guests are welcome.

Now, to the point. Keeping a record of things, how we feel, what the day is like, etc. seems like a good exercise, and what better place to keep it than here. So, you get to go on this journey of what it's like to take part in a scientific study, and we get to do warm-up writing for all the upcoming papers now until December. Seems win-win.

Back to the study.
The thing they are measuring is carbon output, (and given the daily weigh-in, its relation to weight loss), so before each meal they "capture" our breath in a strange little bag made for capturing breath (it's totally the scientific name...). Then we eat, and it all has to be consumed within 30 minutes. Following that, breath is captured again 30 minutes after eating, and then an hour and 30 minutes after eating. This happens three times a day, at strict hours of the day. The weekend operates differently, but you'll read about that in updates.

They did the DEXA scan like they did for previous studies, and also 20-30 minute breath capture during pre-screening, the first to determine muscle/fat ratio, and the second to measure how much energy (calories) this body burns at a resting rate (laying completely still in a dark room after laying still in a dark room for 20 minutes prior to get the body into a true resting state). Based on the last study, and very little weight change, the calories this body needs just to pump the blood, complete respiratory function and all the other things a body does, is 1874 calories a day. [This body is a furnace, apparently]. They take that number and multiply it by some activity factor to determine how many calories you need to do things like go to work, think, etc.

The amount they came up with for this body in the last study was over 2400 calories a day to maintain weight. It seems like an utterly ridiculous number (way too high) and as we use the FatSecret app (a great app, by the way), we know that that's almost double our daily intake (which includes alcohol).
So they are packing our first three days of meal at a whopping 2400ish calories. It's a lot of damn food. Disgusting amount. Following this, which is the "balance day", they will decrease the calories by either 20%, or 40% - whichever that don't do will be during our next intake two week following the completion of this one, where it all happens all over again, with the same meals and everything.

So, here we go.

Day One:
Had to get up at 5:20 this morning in order to get to the facility and check in by 6:45 (the commute to this city is at least 40 minutes). Fasting started at midnight last night, which was no problem. Couldn't have any breakfast this morning OR coffee. That's right. No coffee. There will be no coffee for about 13 days (so far there has been no headache on day one, only sluggishness and an slight difficulty taking notes in the first class of the day). The only thing allowed for drinking is water (unlimited)...and the milk they put with breakfast and dinner (gag).
They affix an activity monitor on the arm, which is only allowed to be removed during showers, so they can monitor your sleeping and daytime body stats.

Had breakfast at the facility this morning at 7am. Breakfast for the next 13 days will be at 7am sharp. Lunch at noon. Dinner at 6pm, When we check in Wednesday night bedtimes will be at 10pm, and wake times at 6:30am.

Yeah. Bedtimes. The deal is that they take over the eating and sleeping portions of the life of the subject. As was mentioned. Sacrifice.

So, breakfast was okay food, but at least three times the calories and quantity of food we generally have for breakfast (small-medium apple, slice of sharp cheddar and coffee), and not too far from a breakfast we'd eat on the weekend, save the cereal and milk. Yogurt is served with every meal, it's apparently the control device. In any case, they add sugar and oil to the plain yogurt, which turns into a type of oil slick on the top...appetizing, hey? They will be changing the sugar between HFCS, beet sugar and cane sugar. It's plausible that they are testing how each different sugar effects carbon burned by the body. After doing some light research today it became clear that carbon is a big factor in weight loss, as in the body burns it and what you eat may or may not affect how much you burn. And therefore carbon output, like urine, sweat and...the other waste...are how the fat leaves the body. So, carbon output, and low carbon-output foods become important to weight loss.

You can almost hear a new line of diet foods being created, can't you?

Lunch was again literally three times as much food as we usually consume, very tasty but hard to get down in 30 minutes. Also, a selection of foods that we'd never eat for lunch, or at all really. Like a portion of a Hershey chocolate bar, and a giant turkey taco salad. Usually lunch is just spring lettuce mix, tomatoes, cottage cheese and a small bit of something like cranberries and almonds. By the time lunch was over the milk from breakfast hit full force. Lactose intolerance and all its glory.

Usually the day is punctuated with snacks (celery or snap peas between breakfast and lunch, and plain yogurt with berries, or pineapple between lunch and dinner). But now there's no snacks. So far it's not a problem because all of those frickin' calories just stick.

Dinner, 6pm on the dot. A pasta casserole dish. Ugh. Pasta isn't a normal part of our diet. It doesn't much of the same thing as lactose does once it hits the inside of this body. Not only is it a pasta dish. It's a GIANT amount. Oh, and more milk. A tiny carrot and spinach salad that would have been better without the dressing...but eating everything is required. Licking out the dishes is encouraged. Everything is measured down to the tenth of a gram.

Each meal (breakfast, lunch, dinner) is on a set rotation, so what was eaten today will be eaten again on Thursday, on Sunday, next Wednesday, and next Saturday. Oh joy.

After slogging through the last half of the pasta, and forcing down the yogurt, it is declared a day. There's only one more breath bag left for the day and then there's nothing left to do. Homework, maybe. But no drinking.

Yeah. NO ALCOHOL. Given that nightly drinks have been a very regular thing since moving back to the states three years ago (holy fuck, three years?!), it's going to be interesting to feel 14 days sober.
Fourteen days sober and caffeine free.
It sounds like hell.

Summer: A Garden Update

It's been a month and a half of turbulent weather. For a couple of days most of one of the gardens was under water. It wasn't looking good. But then suddenly everything started to pop. It looks like it's going to a second year of successful gardening. The only problem is that it's been hard to get into the garden and weed properly more than once, because of the rain and the massive amount of mosquitoes. Additionally, for some reason, there are way more weeds this year compared to last year. Their seeds must have come in on the wind.

At least the herbs on the back porch: four basil, a marjoram, English thyme, oregano, rosemary and chocolate mint plant, create an inviting smell and have been useful for weeks now (can't make enough variations of chimichurri sauce). *sigh* Summer. It should always be summer.

But it's been a busy summer with work, painting (four completed last month), travel, house guests and general relaxing before the ramp-up to next semester. While there's been plenty of mental health issues to write about of late, it seems redundant, and it's really not always the right time to lay your issues and insecurities out into the digital world.

In any case, here are some beautiful photos from the garden.

Three kinds of beans (painted pony, cannelino, purple queen)

Summer Squash (there are patty pans and zucchini...PATTY PANS!!)

Baby Green Pepper
(there is also a red, yellow and purple pepper, two poblanos and four jalapeno plants). 

Cippolini onions (there are red and white planted)

Sweat Peas

Cherry Tomatoes
(there are a total of about 17 plants of various breeds)

Butterhead Lettuce

Baby Leaf Lettuce

Eggplant Blossoms

Potato Blossoms

The South Plot
(full of winter squash, cilantro, swiss chard, kale, carrots, onions [red, yellow and white], leeks, potatoes, broccoli, beets, etc...oh, and weeds)

It's all going to pop at once and the amount of produce will be unmanageable, but that's when the real fun begins...canning, dehydrating, eating. So. Much. Eating. :-)

Choose Your Own Adventure Tweetup

This past weekend was Tweetup number four on the roster of attended Tweetups. It's likely to have been the last (98% sure it is...ya always have to maintain some wiggle room).

After a great time at the Detroit Tweetup in 2012, the appetite for Tweetups was whetted. What followed was a fairly disappointing one in 2013, which took place in Minneapolis, then shortly following that a fun one in London, Ontario where we got to see @CanadianCyn again, and meet her sister @CanadianCheri. We met some other nice people at that Tweetup, but considered it to be a potential final Tweetup tadoo because of the general experience. When the Tweetup for the following year was starting to be organized by Cheri, and Cyn said she was going to be there, and it was slated for Toronto, Canada, we marked the calender.

But then something came up and Cheri handed off the undertaking to @ArrogantTwat and @BlondeCalamity - who turned out to be a great host and hostess, and made people feel welcome. They deserve many thanks for their effort.

Tweetups can be a mixed bag. For the truly awkward, they can be...truly truly awkward. Especially if you aren't part of any of the Instagram and KIK "cliques" that develop on Twitter and then go behind "closed doors" to...do and talk about whatever it is people in cliques talk about. Create joke formats for Twitter and talk about other people...maybe? Sext? Share boob and food pictures? Who knows. Ultimately if you attend one of these functions and you don't have "connections" you could find yourself out in the cold, awkwardly speaking. It's not a big deal unless you make it a big deal though.

The first night is usually the most friendly, as most everybody makes attempts to introduce themselves/meet the faces behind the accounts. That's fairly short-lived, depending on how loud and busy the venue is. The first venue for Friday night of the Toronto Tweetup was the Bier Markt near the St. Lawrence Market in Old Toronto, across the street from the hotel where a portion of the attendees stayed. Drink prices were decent, the food...well...who eats the first night of a Tweetup?! (James did, and whatever it was looked great, and the tiny bite sampled was pretty good). The drinks were reasonably priced (for Toronto), at about $6.50-7.00 each for a Gin and water. The band that night was amazing. Aaaa-Mazing. (Not sure who it was though)

The most memorable part of the night was meeting @BlareBare's friend...The Serial Killer. Okay, so he probably has an actual name.

Javier Bardem

He isn't really on Twitter, and he was at the event as designated driver for Blare. He was off standing by the entrance, watching the soccer (football) [World Cup] game across the tops of the heads of all the drunk people...looking like a creepy guy. Think Javier Bardem in No Country For Old Men...

So, we walk up to him and ask him what he was doing (and then he tells us about being there for Blare and watching the game - also, he doesn't drink).
Then the conversation goes something like "I'm gonna be honest with you. Some straight-up Twitter honesty. You're standing over here looking like a serial killer and it's kinda creepy".

We go on to tell him that he should mingle, and have a good time, maybe get closer to the TV. Maybe talk to some of the liquor lubricated Twitter ladies. He took it well and went off into the crowd. After that he seemed to have a good time, and even went to the second night's event which he hadn't planned to do.

Around 12:30-ish we skipped out to go to try to find something to eat. When Skittles (@ClubNette) asked if she could come along, the answer was a resounding yes.

We have been following Skittles on Twitter for years now, and her us. She writes poetic and intriguing Tweets and when we tried to get her to come to London last year, promising to hide under tables and drink vodka and eat Skittles with her, she passed. But this year...this year she collected all of her braveness and as soon as she walked into the bar, we screamed her name and enveloped her in a giant hug. It was like insta-friends.
(As a side note, her nickname officially became "Skittles" at the Toronto Tweetup, thanks to James and us)

So we grabbed Skittles and @Sythesised, who we met at the London Tweetup last year, and have become very friendly with, and went off to do our own stuff. We wandered around a bit in Old Toronto, breifly played in a fountain, got lost, made jokes, had a lot of laughs, found some food and got to know each other.

The following day we took Skittles and James to St. Lawrence Market (we'd been to Toronto about five years prior and became familiar with the awesomeness that is the market) where the lot of us wandered around, looking at food, mesmerized, drinking delicious Italian coffee. James bought a bit of obscenely expensive unpasteurized cheese (because unpasteurized cheese is not available in the states), and we bought a raisin butter tart so James could sample the greatness that is a butter tart...and then the food mecca was discovered.

Bacon!
For $8 you can get thick fresh sliced bacon (your choice of from which part of the pig) on a perfectly moist roll. It was nearly a religious experience.

Bacon selection at Carnicero's in the St. Lawrence Market

After that we met up with the Tweetup at a sports bar downtown. We didn't stay long...because of the awkwardness, but did get to meet and have a chat with @stranded_in_to and @MrsStranded. A very lovely couple.

The plan was to go to the Museum of Contemporary Canadian Art, so off we headed. All in all, from the Market to the museum, it was a two and a half mile walk. It seemed like forever. And then the museum was closed. The disappointment was brief, as they appeared to be setting up for an event, and one of the men there invited us to come back later that night for an opening of Over The Rainbow: Seduction and Identity, which was featuring late hours, staying open until 1am.

So we headed back to get ready to go out for the night. A few stops in shops on the way, a designer label consignment shop, and a store dedicated solely to socks.

We took a side street after seeing some graffiti and stumbled upon an entire alley full of graffiti artists working on a project for the North by Northeast art project. Score. It was some of the best graffiti art you could hope to see, the alley smelled of fresh spray paint, and it was full of shirtless artists. 

Finally, about half way back, we boarded a trolley, and right at the stop we got off at was this amazing place called Craft Dogs, which makes handmade small-batch wieners with awesome seasonal and fresh ingredients. Who can pass that up?! If you go to Toronto, you have to try their wieners.

It was a nearly perfect day.

The Mennonite Smokey
(pork shoulder, cheese curds, apples and sage)
fancy mustard, smoked tomato ketchup, spicy corn relish, kraut

Later we headed off towards the Tweetup venue with Skittles on the trolley, and James stayed on and went to a rugby game that was taking place in the city. We ended up missing our stop, and had to backtrack, which was the whole point of taking the trolley...to get to the venue quickly. Fail. At this point it would have been quicker to walk. We got a half a block away and got intercepted by a cab going to a stand-up comedy Twitter event at
Theatre Passe Muraille, and they cajoled us (with lies) to squish into the back of the cab.

We got there...the awkward girls. Synthesised was nowhere to be found, so we stood around awkwardly, like awkward girls do. The people who had convinced us to get into the cab were off doing something, and the people we were left with...well...let's just say...not everybody on Twitter is as friendly or nice as they may portray themselves.

They weren't letting people into the venue site, so we kinda wandered a bit with Skittles, standing on the fringes...

It didn't take long to start conspiring. Peeing was something long overdue, and so the decision was made that when people started going into the theater, we'd run away to go find a bathroom and head back to hang out with all of the other people (who we had been mislead to believe would be where we currently were), which was just under a mile walk. So much walking!

Finally we go to the bar, stood in line and joined everybody. It was loud and hard to hear people talk unless you were just about sitting in their lap. We stayed probably an hour or so, James showed up and off we went, the same little group from the night before, to the gallery opening.

The art for the opening was from the collection of Salah Bachir and Jacob Yerex, who have the second largest Andy Warhol collection, among other interesting and stunning works, like this one by Andy Fabo...

We got what amounted to an amazing personal "tour" from Brett Despotovich (hereby nicknamed Dapper Man by Skittles), Head of Gallery Operations and Visitor Services and artist (http://brett-despotovich.com/). Brett was very interesting and provided some interesting information on various pieces of art and portraits, including Richard Gere's penis.

We closed down the gallery, admiring the eclectic mix of pieces as we walked out, each getting a hug and kissed on both cheeks by Brett, and an invitation to come back the following morning.

Ever the adventurers, the group of us took a stroll through Trinity Park on Queen St, then stumbled through the alley from earlier in the day, emerging in front of Hero Certified Burgers. Certified, as in 100% Angus beef - hormone, antibiotic and gluten-free (of course, the buns aren't gluten free). Magical. This is another place you have to try if you make it to Toronto. 

We cabbed it the rest of the way back to the hotel, and everybody took out their respective contact lenses, put on comfortable clothes and then we sat around and talked until 4am.

The next morning we met in Synthesised's room for coffee and Bailey's and Mimosas, and then went back the the gallery for a talk by Andy Fabo...which we actually missed because of the drinking. The day slowly came to a close after lunch at a local pace called Eggsmart; Synth had to go pick up his daughter and Skittles had to catch a train at about 4pm.

The rest of the day was just us and James, wandering around down by the lake, then to the CN Tower, a nice dinner at Fionn MacCool's and then relaxed in the room and got ready for our 7am bus departure.

Despite the horrific experience getting to the Tweetup: an hour drive to the airport, flight cancellations which forced us to get to the airport over six hours early to try to get an earlier flight, delays involving sitting in a plane on the tarmac for an hour in Chicago, luggage that got sent on the wrong place, getting into the motel room after nearly fourteen hours of travel only to get four hours of sleep before getting on a bus for over three hours to get to Toronto, and then a mile walk to the hotel...it was totally worth it.

All in all the Tweetup was what we made it. It was a choose-your-own-adventure experience. Sometimes Tweetups are just a good excuse to travel, to have new experiences that have very little to do with Twitter, and forge great relationships with great people, even if it is a select few who understand what true awkwardness in social situations feels like...and everyone involved can appreciate the mutual awkwardness. 

And the best outcome? Skittles is coming to visit us in a couple of weeks! This adds the third person met from Twitter to be a house guest at Chez Frankie. She is included in a small group of people who we consider friends, many of who we have met at Tweetups, or through a stop on the way traveling to Tweetups. 

Not all Tweetups, or social events originating from social media, are going to be positive experiences. It's like life. Take the good parts and make something of it, and you'll find it's worth going out on a limb. You just might meet some fellow awkward adventurers.

The Adventurers <3

Guinea Pigs

Tonight is the second Thursday in a row we're taking part in a medical-related food consumption study.

We got accepted to the program about a month ago after seeing a sign on campus and applying.
The draw was the subject (it's food/health related) and the money.
Mostly, the money.
It pays half of the amount we make at work in a month; it's basically paying for the trip to Toronto next week (a combination Tweetup/anniversary celebration/summer vacation trip). Couldn't really pass it up.

After the initial meet which involves a blood draw after 12 hours of fasting, and a second two hour meeting (following another 12 hour fasting) which measures body composition (how much fat versus muscle your body is made up of) using a dual energy x-ray absorptiometry (DEXA) machine and then a test to determine RMR (Resting Metabolic Rate), which is basically the base amount of calories your body needs to function. That involves putting a big space-helmet-like hood over your head for about 45 minutes while you lay very still and it collects your exhaled breath and analyses it.
It's kinda weird.

It's all very interesting to someone who loves learning new things. Hopefully they release both of the results after the study is over. That kind of information would be really empowering to someone with a lifetime of battling weight issues.

The study requires the subject to not be on medication (we're four years clean this month!), not be on birth control (no problem there!), and be free of health conditions (such as high blood pressure and low blood sugar/diabetes) - on that front we're as healthy as a horse.

The study also includes staying three separate nights at their facility, at least a week apart. Before each stay the test subject (that's us!) is required to record everything consumed for the three days prior. EVERYTHING. All foods and coffee, water, alcohol too. It gets recorded using a program and then it spits out detailed calorie information for the day. It's quit interesting, not really being too much of a calorie counter when it comes to a whole day of eating, only individual items and recipes, (we were studying human nutritional science at one point in time) to find out how few calories, on average, we actually consume in a day. Also interesting, it became apparent that 25-30% of calories a day is from alcohol. That's not very good.

1200 calories of food.

Once checked into the facility they provide a meal. It's the same menu and amount every time (it's also three times the calories we generally consume for dinner, so we don't finish it all and some of it we don't even eat) and has to be consumed by 7 pm. After 7 pm there is no food aloud, only water.

The room.

Each room is private, with a TV, a bed (that's more like a flat rock with bedding, sadly) and a shared bathroom (but there's never a full house). There's a pool table, and a big commons area with big comfy couches and a large television with cable - plus free wireless (which is terribly slow and glitchy). But it's comfortable, and has air conditioning (which we don't have at home). We don't have to cook, or clean, or talk to anybody...just hang out. It's kind of like a mini vacation.

Fashionable.

Six am starts the day, with a half an hour for showering and...stuff...
Then they insert the arterial catheter into the inner elbow and there it stays for over four hours while they periodically draw blood following the consumption of breakfast (which is sickly sweet strawberry Greek yogurt). They leave us in a small room with a monitor, which provides questions after each blood draw, and provide water as much as requested (though however much water you drink during the first of the three sessions is how much you'll be allowed the final two sessions).
Other than that it's a good time to catch up on reading, or watching Netflix - last week we watched 'Butter' and 'The Best and the Brightest' (both hilarious movies, by the way).

At about 11:30 am they take out the catheter and bring lunch and place it on a scale that looks like a giant mouse pad so they measure how much you eat, and likely how fast you eat it. They say to eat as much as you like until full/satisfied. It's a GIANT glass casserole dish, and it's chicken (clearly canned), cream of mushroom soup (clearly from a can), and egg noodles with some hint of some sort of cheese product (could be Velveeta?). It's atrocious [but the first few bites are delicious if hungry enough]...and unlike dinner where everything is labeled with the calorie content, this is just screaming death into a calorie abyss (egg noodles are severely high in calories, not to mention cream of mushroom soup...and whatever that cheese is).

After that they send you home. This is where the request for coffee comes in, because until then it's not allowed.

It might sound weird to do such a thing like take part in medical-related studies, but since we're not allowed to donate blood, or take part in medication testing (which, is probably for the better), this is an easy and interesting way to earn some extra cash through the summer. It's been a good learning experience. After tonight we have one more stay to go before the big "pay out".

If you ever need some extra cash, search local government and private organizations that do various types of studies and check out if they're "hiring" guinea pigs. You never know what you might learn.

Cooking With Frank: Pulled Pork, Chipotle and Chèvre Lasagna

Who doesn't love pulled pork. In this household new pulled pork recipes are created every few months (we're saving them for "a rainy day"), but after awhile pulled pork on a bun (or baked potato) can get sort of ho-hum.

Additionally, in this household, pasta is something that is rare. Very rare. It's not a Frankie friend. But James loves pasta, so sometimes he has to be indulged. We figured what better time to indulge him than when Jesse (@cool_jesse) comes for his annual summer visit (then there's less that we "have" to eat).

This recipe is in three parts, like a play. It's really easy, and mostly 'set in and forget it' in nature. You can start it today and make it tomorrow.

Please note: The sodium content is if

you use store bought canned tomatoes (2,254 g).

The other major sodium source is from the pork (9,800 g).

[calculated with myfitnesspal recipe calculator]

The recipe is relatively healthy compared to other more traditional lasagnas, but with great flavors like pulled pork, spicy chipotle and goat cheese...it seems so much more naughty.

• It's sweetened with carrots instead of processed sugar.
• If you use home canned tomatoes the sodium can be better controlled than if the tomatoes are store bought.
• You can add whatever vegetables you want to make it super packed with vitamins and nutrients - if you want to "trick" your family and friends into eating healthier (peas, fresh peppers, leeks, asparagus, celery...since it just gets cooked and then blended up, the options are vast).

Plus, goat cheese is higher in protein, vitamins A and D and low in carbohydrates compared to part skim milk ricotta [but higher in calories, fat and sodium. More on goat cheese vs. part skim milk ricotta >>> SkipThePie.org Nutrition Search Engine]

Pulled Pork, Chipotle and Chèvre Lasagna
Serves 8-10 (at 9 servings the serving size is 3"x 4")

What You'll Need:
9 x 13 glass pan
crock pot
bender or immersion blender
aluminum foil.



FIRST: The Pork
1.5-2 pounds Pork butt or pork shoulder (you can use tenderloin, but the meat will be a bit chewier)
2 cups Carrot, rough chopped
1 quart Tomatoes, stewed
1 quart Water
1/2 Onion, Yellow, rough chopped
1/2 Onion, Red, rough chopped
3/4 cup Red Wine
1/4 cup Red wine vinegar
3 Tbsp Marsala cooking wine
2 Tbsp Worcestershire
Salt, to taste (but at least 1 tsp*)
Pepper, fresh ground, to taste

Combine all ingredients in a crock pot on high and cook for at least 12 hours. If part of the cooking includes overnight turn the crock pot on low, just to be safe.
DO NOT BREAK UP THE PORK INTO SMALL PIECES.

After about 12 hours, remove the pork and set aside.
Puree the sauce mixture with a blender (but be careful, leave plenty of space in the blender, or you'll have a hot mess) or an immersion blender.
In a separate bowl or container, shred the pork into small pieces. Set aside.

*Notes:
- rough chop = large chunks
- if you are using canned tomatoes from the store, use less salt.

SECOND: The Red Sauce
All reserved sauce from the pulled pork [there should be at least 9-10 cups, or 72-80 oz]
2 Chipotle peppers in adobe sauce, removed from sauce and chopped*
1 tsp of the adobe sauce from the can*

Add the chopped chipotle peppers and adobe sauce to the reserved sauce. Blend with immersion blender. Set Aside.

*Notes:
This is a very spicy (hot) product. Use sparingly if you, your family, or your guest can't handle spicy food.

THIRD: The White Sauce
170-200 grams Chèvre  (goat cheese) [about 1 1/2 cups]
1/2 cup Half & Half
1 medium clove garlic, minced
Salt, to taste (keep in mind the saltiness of the cheese)
Pepper, to taste

Blend together with blender or immersion blender. Set Aside.

FINALLY: The Assembly
1 package lasagna noodles [you'll only need 12 of them]. DO NOT COOK BEFOREHAND
Marjoram, fresh, chiffonade
6 oz Mozzarella cheese, shredded

Preheat oven to 350° F

Top of bottom layer

Assemble lasagna:
Place 3 cups of red sauce in bottom of 9x13 glass pan.
Arrange 4 lasagna noodles on top of red sauce (3 by 1)
Spread half of the meat mixture
Lightly cover meat mixture with half of the white sauce
Sprinkle marjoram over white sauce
Arrange 5 lasagna noodles on top of sauce (4 by 1)
Put at least 2 cups of red sauce on top of noodles
Spread second half of the meat mixture over red sauce
Cover meat mixture with half of the white sauce
Arrange 4 lasagna noodles on top of white sauce (3 by 1)
Cover noodles with remaining red sauce.

Cover with tin foil and bake for 40 minutes.
Uncover and sprinkle mozzerealla cheese over top. Bake for 5-7 more minutes or until cheese is bubbly and browning.
Take out of oven and let sit for about 5-10 minutes. Cut into 9 pieces. Serve with a nice green leaf salad.

Enjoy!

If you have any questions feel free to comment, e-mail, or contact us via Facebook, Twitter or Google+

Spring Is Here! A Gardening Geek-Out.

Okay, so it's not....here here...yet. But it's coming soon.

Now, for the geeking out.

The new seeds (dressed in white) and
the leftovers from last season to go in this year

We got our seeds for the garden today! Gardening Season Version 2.0 is upon us. Our second solo attempt at growing food, after the beta version when we lived with mom in summer of 2012 and tended her garden and got bit by the gardening bug.

Truth be told we come from a long line of gardeners, and had dabbled in the dark earthy arts of the dirt over the years, never with any success on our own...until last year. Which was more or less 75% successful, as you can read about at one of our other blogs if you'd like (http://frankiesfarmadventure.blogspot.com/), which is retiring from active duty this year in the interest of streamlining the writing into only one or two places. (it's all about organization, yeah?)

Anywayyyyyy...*continues to geek out*

We bought a lot of seeds. We would have bought more but for the space issue, and also...umm...two human bodies can only eat so much spoils from the garden. For goodness sake we're still eating spaghetti squash and beets from the last garden. So many seeds, it's a little crazy. For instance, the squash plants only need two seeds per hill, and we'll only be planting, at most, two hills per type. At 25 seeds per pack...we have enough seeds for the next...something like six years.

To most people it probably seems ridiculous that we're so excited about gardening, but there is nothing like something fresh from the garden, pulled from soil you know, from soil you've toiled over (and trust us, with our back problems, the toil can be days of pain - but it's totally worth it), that only your hands have touched. It's just...so much better than some crap from the grocery store that's traveled over 1000 miles in a truck or rail car, or worse, ship or an airplane from another country several thousand miles away. Not to mention some of the seeds are organic/heirloom, which means no GMO. (As some regular readers know, we have a variety of issues with the upsurge in GMO everything, and it's not just from a poisoning perspective - http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/2012/09/from-lab-to-field-and-on-your-knees.html)

Gardening probably couldn't be easier for the average person either...there are apps for it. Seriously. APPS. And websites with videos and information. And software. And if you're into machines and gadgets...so. many. machines. and. gadgets.

We're not into that stuff, the machines and gadgets (except for the gardening knife, obviously...), you can barely talk us into wearing a pair of gloves to weed most days. However, we did try out a The Old Farmer's Almanac Garden Planner (http://gardenplanner.almanac.com) just to make sure we could fit all the things we wanted into our two garden plots.

To start off, this is not a paid advertisement of any sort, we are not representing them, they are not paying us. This is just a cool feature of their website because
a) it's not software so it doesn't require any crazy downloads [you only need a recent version of Adobe Flash, which, if you don't already have...you might as well leave the internet right now]
b) it's fun to play with because it automatically shows how much space you need around each thing you plant (as you'll see below)

They allow you to use it for free for 30 days, but you can only save one garden design. After the 30 days is up you then have the option of paying $25 a year (no credit card info required) or $40 for two years, for the features and benefits like being able to create up to five plans per year, continuous access to the garden plans, emailed reminders so you know when to sow and plant. Saving of plans to carry over for the next year's garden to remind what grew where the year(s) before, which enables you to quickly make the next year's plan, including removing things that didn't work out, or changing the location of things that might grow better in another spot. There are some other general features that come with it, and the trial version, you should just play with it and find out.

We played around with it before ordering seeds, because the order add$ up - we still have to wait for the potato (two varieties) and sweet potato "bulbs" which get shipped closer to the end of the frost season, and some things have to be purchased as plants and transplanted because the growing season is too short for some things (peppers, tomatoes, eggplant, broccoli and cauliflower.

This is the West Plot, which is 30 x 12, designed using the The Old Farmer's Almanac Garden Planner (http://gardenplanner.almanac.com), which is getting made larger when the guy we hire to plow the spots with his little tractor comes by after the frost season passes. It was just decided today, so we might be able to grow more tomatoes or peppers...and maybe some other things that can be dehydrated or canned for winter.

This is the South Plot, which is for more "late season" items, like winter squash, beets, potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots and onions...you know, things that take longer to mature or ripen.

*sighs*

Okay, we're done geeking out.

Spring is close! It's time to get excited.