I have had a wobble recently, a rather large one which is quite out of character for me but there you go, we all have them. People look at me and see a thirty-something lady who has it all under control and has got her shit together. Anyone who knows me more than superficially knows that this is utter bollocks and that I am just a hypo manic woman with a very mercurial mind. So how do I stay so positive when life gives me a swift kick (because I am not immune, I am just like everyone else).
Let me tell you a story….are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.
For many years I was told that I was only averagely bright and my brother was very bright and I was metaphorically patted on the head in a condescending way. Spool forwards to about 10 years ago, smudging over a somewhat train wreck of a life, I got my first A grade at university. I had never got an A before and was delighted with it. My ever brilliant mother-in-law, who is into embroidery and craft things, made me a cross stitch card with an A on the front with other little A’s flying around it and she wrote a lovely message inside. Now I fully thought that this A grade was a one off and was delighted when I got another…and then another. Like most obsessive students I had diagrams of the brain and the latest theories stuck to the wall so that I could refer to them easily but then I got struck by a bout of clinical depression.
After picking my ass up off the floor, I decided what I needed to see around me was things that make me feel good not the latest mental health research. So down came all my student stuff and up went that card, then I got another card from someone else, then there was a note that someone left me…up on the wall it all went. Before I knew it, I had a pretty full wall and thought that this was a cool idea.
Being the laid back chilled out dude that I am (no please don’t laugh) I went through the whole house and binned all the crap and kept stuff from people that was either a nice gift or card or comment. So out went the bank statements and the outdated letters from the taxman that I was keeping ‘just in case’ and the old love letters and the scribbles my son made on paper took pride of place all round the house. Ok the love letters are in the draw but you get the picture.
This method of surrounding myself with positive things came into its own when I got cancer. Someone suggested that I have a mantra ‘I will be alright, I will get healthy’ that kind of thing. Except my kind of mantra would contain a lot more swearing! I tried the none swearing version because when you have cancer you will try anything and unsurprisingly I found that it did not work. What did work were they physical signs of people who love and care for me.
OK I hear you say, this isn’t brain surgery, why are you telling me this? Take a look around your home. There may be paintings done by the kids but what else is there? My son was playing being a pirate one day and asked if I had any treasure. Of course I have, I told him but he was very surprised that it did not contain any jewellery rather my Weight Watchers card which showed how much weight I had lost, his milk teeth, an old playing card that I got on an excellent night out. None of these treasures has any intrinsic value, but they are priceless too.
As I write this I notice that I have tattoos, rings and the necklace Frankie bought me, all on me with at least 5 other things I can see without getting up off the seat that are positive affirmations . Go on and try it; you may find it life changing or you may find that it brings just a little bit more happiness into your life. Let’s face it, who couldn’t use some more happiness.
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