Being Brief

The thing about people, friends, significant others, and family members knowing where to find your blog is that over time it really limits what you can write about. Unless you're a complete and utter asshole, that is. So it forces abstract and brief commentary and statuses, here, there, in all the usual places ... nothing coming together to form anything tangible for anyone to fully understand.

We're currently trying to figure out a way to return to therapeutic blogging, the kind we used to do, because it was a helpful tool in the past. As we slide into familiar old patterns we're mentally clawing and grasping for that old life saver.
The stress and anxiety mounts. It's been so long since we've been able to really write.

Hopefully it will break soon.

Random Update

We got the job we wrote about it the previous post. Not sure when we start. It's very temporary, and very part time. But the pay is good.

We've been having some relationship issues. We're not going to write about it yet.

That's it. That's all.

Home, Safe and Sound

We're home. It feels like we were never gone.

*big sigh*

Now back to writing, and painting, and biking (to lose some weight before heading back to the UK), cooking and working on projects.

We did a lot of things the last few days, visited Baby Brother, looked at loads of real estate in the city where he lives and also in the state in which he lives.

We're leaning towards seclusion in the country these days, some acreage, some chickens and goats...maybe a rabbit. Who knows. That was today. It's hard to decide for us because we each have our "ideal" when it comes to where to live, some of us prefer urban, some the country...only one likes the idea of a suburbia TYPE setting. And then there is James to consider, and what he wants, where he wants to live.

Luckily we have some time, but we could find something before we leave, then let it sit for the year, to a year and a half, that we'll be in Europe.

In any case, we're home. Safe and sound. We'll be calculating the mileage we put on that poor car, as well as slowly working on some travel entries about what we did.

Summer, home, relaxation. Staying in one place until the beginning of August. This all sounds good.

Back In America

Image Source

We're back in America.

Arriving at about 4:30am GMT we obviously didn't have time to write a blog post, and the last two days in an airport hotel outside of Heathrow, as inspiring to write as it should be, just wasn't.

Let's just say that when we get back on that plane on August 3, we'll be packing differently, at least. And we'll be better prepared for the trip than we were this time. We'll also likely be gone longer, and as of right now all we know is that we can't be in Canada, Mexico or the United States...but we have the rest of the world to choose from.

We do not recommend dating a foreigner if you don't like the idea of being separated from each other for long periods of time, and are not presented with a position where you can freely travel together...even then. It's a giant pain in the ass. More to come on that...

Would we do it again? He's worth it for most of us, even though, like with any relationship...there are always issues to work through. These are just relationship strength building experiences...

Right?

So many things ran through our mind on the plane rides we took to get us back to our homeland, all that time away from the computer and Twitter...mental spark flew, especially the more tired we got. Hopefully once we get settled back into life in The Mother's basement we'll be able to conjure them up again and put them to blog paper.

We watched a couple of movies on the plane. We recommend them. They were pretty cool.

Try out Young Adult, starring Charlize Theron, a story about an author battling depression and disappointment with her life, as well as some other clearly sociopathic issues. The synopsis on Internet Movie Database doesn't give it justice. That's the lovely part about being stuck on a plane for over eight hours with the same things on the TV over and over...you watch things you probably wouldn't have.

Also try out, It's Kind of a Funny Story. This one we've been holding on to, digitally, for months and months. But with minimal options on the plane we decided it was time. It's a really good, honest movie starring Zach Halifianakis, and an amazing cast of characters including a young British actor called Keir Gilchrst, the protagonist of the film. Also the message is one that all people should acknowledge, if even with a roll of the eyes.

If you end up watching either of these movies we'd love for you to come back here and comment on them, particularly the last one.

We'll we've got things to do. Like go get another drivers license. And get groceries (we don't eat much of moms food), and plan our trip to Chicago for the week of the 21st...where we will be starting to look at real estate, and James has never been outside of a three hour radius of the city we've landed him in, The Mother's basement adjacent. And then...everything else.

We're feeling really good today, mentally, despite not feeling that way after we landed last night. Things go up, things go down. We strap ourselves in everyday for the roller coaster that is life.

Throw your hands in the air and scream.

~ Frank et al

OH! And it's Mental Health Month, so check out some of the stuff here on the blog regarding that, and we'll be publishing another story submitted from other people soon. You should join in the Blogging For Mental Health!

A Travel Update: Day 18

So, an update. Why not.

Day 18.

We've been in the UK (England) 18 days. It snowed for the first time on Saturday night, the humidity was at 100%. Wet cold is far worse than dry cold.

If we had an idea of when we were leaving (we have yet to purchase a return ticket) we'd be doing a countdown on when we're going "home".

It seems like we're been here longer, so much longer; and some days it feels like it's going to go too fast. And other days like it's never going to come to an end.

When people on Twitter (and all other places we hang out online during the daytime) ask  "How's your vacation?" we almost always crinkle our nose, then chuckle a little.

It's not exactly a vacation, not by any practical definitions anyway. It's not really any different then being unemployed back home, which we were for the last three and a half months or so. It's just being unemployed in a different country, and with everything that entails (financially speaking anyway, we were, and are not, on any unemployment or benefits - right now we are using the last of our savings).

James got a job pretty fast when we got here, which was good, because it's expensive to heat the flat, provide it electricity and purchase food. We are indeed "blessed", as he looked for months to find a job before coming to stay with us in the states with no luck, and this time it took mere days.

So, what's it like, how is our "vacation" going?

We've finally got a shower system hooked up, but it runs on a separate line than does the bathtub taps, and so far we have not been able to use it. You never really understand how glorious a shower is until you've went about two and a half weeks without one, especially when the heat is...well, lets just say you can see your breath most days in the bathroom (and most other places in the flat), making a bath less than relaxing most days.

So far we remain without a fridge/freezer in the kitchen, which means meals must be creative and innovative. Our culinary education is coming in handy, on some levels. Luckily because the flat is so cold - it sat empty too long, making it hard to get up to temperature, and it is too expensive to keep the heat running every day, other than to take the chill out of the air - the kitchen is an adequate temperature to store most of the things we buy on the counter, or in the cupboards. We'd never buy things like chicken though, that would be too risky. Yogurt, milk, cheese, fruits, vegetables, and eggs are among the usual foods we have been keeping in the kitchen.

(Refrigeration of eggs is not actually recommended, they don't even do it in the grocery stores, it has something to do with, not surprisingly, the difference in processing practices in America vs. Europe.)

We go to the grocery every other day, a roughly 25 minute walk, to buy meat products to eat within one to two days; like we said the kitchen is almost refrigeration tempertaure (somewhere between 35-38F/2-4C) so storing red meats or sausage is safe enough over a short period.

We are also without a washer/dryer. Saturday we walked three+ miles, just under 5km, taking our first trip to a laundromat (called a luandrette here) to do laundry. A single load of laundry cost £3, about $5 USD, that's just for the washing, not the drying. We walked to the laundromat to conserve on funds because James has been having issues with the pay at his job, so until that's fixed certain things take priority - luckily we cuaght a bus home after doing laundry because it was very cold and getting dark (and for some reason our ankle has been in pain for about a week, and it has now moved into the join of our knee. I have no idea what we did to it, but it makes walking less pleasurable.)

Not to sound like it's horrible here, we're pretty adaptable to most situations, we come from hearty stock. We did get to go out to a low-cost restaurant last week, so it's not like we're suffering.  While at home it just means more blankets, hot drinks, extra layers of clothing, creative meals, and spending  most of our time in the bedroom with the door closed to keep the heat from escaping into the rest of the flat (the flat itself could use more insulation and weatherproofing, drafty doesn't even explain it). We go to the library as often as possible during the day, while James is at work, to take advantage of the free heat and the table (at the flat we do most of our computer work on our lap on a mattress on the floor).

Anyway, we're not sure about how your vacations go, or how you define a vacation, but we don't consider these conditions a "vacation", most people wouldn't, that's why we call it an adventure.

The walks into town center are the nice though, and there is much to enjoy in the scenery of the smallish town we now find ourselves in. It is a unique experience. Never again will we get to walk past 2000 year old historical sites and a castle, just to go to the library.

Thank heavens we have electricity, water and internet. We feel near spoiled getting to have internet after the first couple of days here. It's going to get better, we can be patient.

In about two weeks we will be going to London for two nights to visit and stay with a friend/follower from Twitter, and meet her for the first time (serenity_x); James has said that in about a month we may take the underground train (it goes under The English Channel!) to France for lunch, maybe overnight. It all depends on many, many, factors, but it WILL get better. The flat sale might be completed (it was supposed to have been completed months ago) and then we will be moving on to a new living quarters. For now, we're just "enjoying" a day-to-day adventure and new life experiences.

It's really not so bad, most of the time, as it may sound on paper, and it's absolutely not typical of living conditions in England; though the colder than average room temperatures is not uncommon, the English tend to be a bit more conservative in living conditions, from what we understand - we've written in our travelogue blog, and will continue to do so, about the other differences we learn about.

You're probably wondering...why'd we do it. Why did we leave the comfort of America, of all things familiar, of living in The Mother's basement (where we had been living for the two and a half months before flying to the UK)? Why?

For the stupidest, and best, and most insane reason ever.

Love...*  

If you want to read our travel blog, simply follow this link: Our Frank Adventures, where we concentrate our writing on England, post photos and write about some of our experiences living temporarily in a foreign country.

_________

*While we are not all in love with James (he understands and accepts this), some are very fond of him (at least one hates him), such is the difficulty in having a relationship while living with DID/MPD. It was a democratic decision to go to England with him, rather than be apart for three or more months.

Mild Travel Anxiety

*As usual, all text links are to our blogs, unless noted otherwise, this is an Ad Free blog...*

Twelve days and roughly four hours until we take off to England. We have a countdown ticker on the travel blog dedicated to this years travel adventures, so it's not like we sit here and manually figure that out all the time...but we have to keep trying to remember that we're leaving soon, though we try to forget to ward off the anxiety...it's only slight so far.

We started packing this morning. trying to figure our how to pack three months of clothes, etc. in under 50 pounds (23kg).Yes, we started packing twelve days in advance, out of necessity, it's not the easiest thing to get ourselves packed if whoever ends up out* the last few days before the flight is a procrastinator, and a couple of of us are HORRIBLE procrastinators. The packing is not easy, packing never is, because we all have different tastes in clothing style, and preferred colors and fabrics. So this morning I had to take in account what I know of everyone's favorite outfits and pack those first, the rest is filler, which is basically plain t-shirts that dry quickly and are a range of colors acceptable to most of us. Then there was weather variant considerations (especially if we travel to Spain) and shoes...shoes, shoes, shoes...(we settled on three pairs to pack, and one to wear).

We don't all love fashion or shoes, and most of us hate shopping, so don't fucking dare call us girly. Cassandra is the most girly of them all...and she loves to shop.

It's sort of scary to think we will be in another country for three months, honestly we still don't know where we will be staying, mostly because we don't have the funds right now, but that just makes it more adventurous, right? Right?!

Most of us are accustomed to not having a lot of funds, and making do with very little, as well as "couch surfing" out of necessity. A few years ago when we were living in the country where we were going to school (where we just moved from the end of october), but not allowed to work, we ended up having to compromise our comfort many times after we ended a relationship that was providing us shelter right before our first year of culinary school started. For several months all of our belongings traveled with us back and forth to school in our car, we lived in 4 different places in under seven months.

So we know we can do this, or at least we think we can, even though the idea of staying with anybody is already making us anxious. so I'm not saying James won't hear at least one of us whine on occasion,  but he'd hear that no matter the situation anyway.

Not to mention he's told a few of his family members about our mental "illness"...and that alone makes us uncomfortable and anxious.

So, we'll be off on the start of our adventure soon. I started assembling the art supplies I can put in a carry on, mostly mechanical and sketching pencils and one of my sketch books - just to make sure they get included.

We're borrowing a digital camera from The Mother, and started working on streamlining the music on our iPod (we have over 85 GB...it needs to be organized), some of us have also started downloading digital books (primarily non-fiction) to our HTC smartphone...James will be working a lot (with any luck) when we are in England, and so we'll need entertainment and creative outlets in order to make it through the day - most of our Twitter followers are in the states, and we'll be 6 hours ahead of the game there...meaning...we'll be spending more Twitter time with our European followers, which we don't have many of.

While in the UK we'll be meeting Kerry Stott (@kerrystott) our guest blogger, as well as @serenity_x and Tom Foolery (he keeps changing his @ so we're not linking to him), as well as some of the followers we trust more (hopefully our friend wubanger5). Yes, some of us are nervous and apprehensive about this.

It's been awhile since I've been around (out*)...third day now (though not consistently)...and I am pretty sure I am not in agreement with this new sobriety kick the rest have put us on. So far so good...though I really want a nice bottle of wine...not even a nice bottle, any bottle will do.

*sigh*.
Mostly it's because of regular joint and muscle pain, but also pain from stretching canvas. Last time I stretched canvases, about 7 months ago) I was drinking scotch, which made it easier to ignore the pain it causes in our hands, and the rawness in them from yanking on canvas and gripping the steel stretcher pliers and staple gun, that we experienced yesterday. Oh well. It's for the best, right?

Oh, we've got info on the upcoming podcast interview airing time that was recorded Thursday with Last Podcaster Standing ((http://thelastpodcasterstanding.com/), it'll go live on Wednesday, but I'm not sure what time yet.

~Ivy

------------------------------------------------------------

*Dissociative Identity/Multiple Personality Disorder common terminology

Personality Specific Terms

Alter: alter states, selves, parts (a subjective term); distinct personalities; fragments alternate personality, personality state, or identity with its own unique perspectives, abilities, memories or other traits that differ from the Host or Executive personality.

The Core: The original birth personality.

Host: is the alter personality who dominates the control of the body most of the time and is often unaware of the other personalities. The host is usually the alter personality who will initiate after experiencing symptoms of mental distress, such as, anxiety, triggers or recovered memories.

Executive: When a personality (alter ego) has control of the body.

Switch: To switch from one personality to another. The process of an alter coming out from the subconscious mind into the consciousness mind while the other alter (who was already in the consciousness mind) slips back into the subconscious mind.

Who's out? A common question used to determine which personality is executive or host.

Co-conscious(ness): A state of being aware of what the other personalities are doing and saying.

Other Common Terms:

Acquired: Anything that is not present at birth but develops some time later. In medicine, the word "acquired" implies "new" or "added." An acquired condition is "new" in the sense that it is not genetic (inherited) and "added" in the sense that was not present at birth.

Triggers: Hysterical conversion symptoms or body memories. Physical phenomenon such as pain, smells, tastes, etc.; re-experienced again.

Dissociation: In psychology and psychiatry, a perceived detachment of the mind from the emotional state or even from the body. Dissociation is characterized by a sense of the world as a dreamlike or unreal place and may be accompanied by poor memory of the specific events, which in severe form is known as dissociative amnesia.

Re-live: A total memory recall (includes visual, emotional, physical and all other senses).

Losing time: Also known as a Dissociative Fugue, is the period of which an alter personality is in the subconscious mind and has no recollection of the time that is being utilized by the alter personality who is occupying the conscious mind. Therefore when the alter switches into the conscious mind they realize that minutes, hours, days, or even months and years have passed since they were last aware of time.

System: is the structure of relationships between the alter personalities who live within the internal world of a survivor with D.I.D. Every system is created and operates in it's own unique way, just like every family living in their own homes run their households different from the next door neighbour.

Inner (Self) Helper: is usually the alter personality who has a good understanding of the system and how it works. The I.S.H. is also among the typical group of helpers or protector personalities.

Grounding: is the process of disrupting a dissociative episode and is accomplished by tugging on an earlobe, rubbing the hands together, or shuffling the feet back and forth. This type of physical stimuli can bring the survivors mind back to awareness of their surroundings, and helps to make them feel less animated.