Showing posts with label Britain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Britain. Show all posts

Monday, April 9, 2012

Our Guest Blogger Writes About Stress

Stress.

Love it, hate it...Kerry is about to tell you why it's good. We agree with her. There is bad stress, and there is good stress. It's the normal good kind that is healthy, normal, and should be manageable. So manageable, in fact, that you don't even think of it as stress.

We have plenty of it, it's debatable day-to-day what kind it is. Some of us are good at managing it, some are not. We can't always call on each other for help. Unpredictable, we are - though James would say we are entirely predictable in our unpredictability.

As we are in the midst of packing up the things around the flat, to figure out what is needed, and what can fit in the car, for spend the next month floating around England - meaning we're packing some necessities, like the tea kettle...in case whatever facility we find ourselves in tomorrow night doesn't have one.

If we've learned anything about the British, and stress, it's that almost anything can be solved with a nice cup of tea; and if you are us, a crumpet with lemon curd in addition.

Thank you, Kerry, for proving us a wealth of guest blog posts. She is not just a friend, a mental health professional, a writer, she is so much more. She is a treasure to us.

As always if you have comments or questions feel free to post in the comment section. It would be interesting to see what other people say about stress, or how they feel about it.

Stress! 

Stress is the most common cause of sickness in the UK [and probably in the world]. We all suffer from it at some time in our lives but is it a good thing or a bad thing?

Of course there is never a simple answer to such a complex question and it all depends upon what stress it is, what type of person you are, what your support network is like and how much stress you have just been under prior to this latest episode. Lots of variables. I would like at this time to direct you back the blog post ‘Them and Us’. That post looked at how having too much stress can cause you to become unwell but what would happen if we had no stress in our lives?

I work hard *laughing* in fact if you know me or follow me on twitter, you know that I rarely stop and have a finger in every pie. It’s how I lead my life and what I enjoy doing. There are often deadlines that I have to work within, people or systems forcing me to do things in a time frame that suits them instead of me. I enjoy and thrive on the pressure and stress, so what would happen if that was taken away?

People often tell each other to take it easy or to slow down (strangely I hear it a lot) and we all do like slowing down. We like going on holiday and taking it easy, kicking back and having a change of scene. However, there are still pressures on holiday too. Having pressures forces us to react. Having to get out of bed to go down for breakfast in time is a pressure and we react by either getting ourselves out of bed or deciding that we will go and grab some brekkie at a local café. It is only our perception that suggests that this pressure is either wanted or unwanted. For most this is nice pressure to be able to choose between the things that we want to for breakfast.

Problems occur when we either do not have enough stress or the wrong sort. For the wrong sort of stress please look at the ‘Them and Us’ post, no point in going over old ground is there? I have met people whose goals are either too achievable and easy to meet or they simply do not have enough stress in their lives. Two things can happen; either they end up living in a pseudo fantasy world where they are protected from real life. When this happens they can find it difficult to relate to other people and others find it difficult to relate to them and they can often judge that person to be lazy or foolish or spoilt; thus polarising them from societal norms and isolating them.

The other thing that can occur is apathy and lethargy. In my experience it is this that is the most common thing. People state that that they can’t get up, that they have no energy, that they feel low in mood but can’t seem to pull themselves around. There is a form of therapy called Behavioural Activation which uses activities and behaviour to kick start someone’s mood change, this is quite effective in this situation. The reason I suggest this is because, once a person reaches a place where their stress levels are too low it can take a lot of energy and motivation to change that. Often it can take someone from outside their family circle to point out that they may need different challenges in their lives. However, once they start to realise that they need to be more stressed, as it were, then they tend to feel better very quickly.

Next time the alarm goes off, or your child starts keening because they have just vomited over their bedding at stupid o’clock in the morning; yearning for a stress free life may be exceptionally desirable. However, the reality of one is not pleasant and can lead you to amore dark emotional place than you could imagine.

Have a happy stressful life.

Kerry x

Other entries here by Kerry Stott @kerrystott

Monday, March 5, 2012

Mind Over Matter In Motion and More

**please note...sometimes these entries are to family members who read our blog, primarily The Father, while they may not be fascinating to you, it's both for our benefit, and that of people who care...if you don't, you know how to exit. We just want to remember and this is the way we do it. Writing Therapy.**

This weekend didn't turn out how we would have liked, but being used to disappointment and being apt to adapt to the flow of some things (we're not all good at it either) we were far less upset than James was. He just figures we deserve things to go the way we hope for them to go, at least some of the time. He is sweet to think that.

So we went to a village outside of the town where we are living temporarily, to meet his Nan (grandmother) and Uncle. Once we go there it was fine, albeit slightly uncomfortable because, well, when is meeting the significant others' family for the first time not uncomfortable. We survived. Somehow we made a good impression, according to the e-mail James received from his Uncle the following day. Yay! (something....)

The worst part was hands down the drive there. It vexed us for awhile, the experience we had.

"This doesn't bode well for the drive to Cumbria next weekend" James said, concern in his voice over our general demeanor in the car, as he adjusted his driving and instructed us to stop reading Twitter. (We're sure he hoped that it was the reason for our physical reactions to the car ride). He drives like a proper "young man".

You see, we have only been in a vehicle in England a couple of times, the first being on the main road, what Americans would call an Interstate, but what the British call a Motorway coming in from the airport, as one of his relatives drove and we sat in the backseat. While we had many seat gripping moments pass we handled that ride well. The a very short trip with Serenity when we went to visit her in London a couple of weeks ago. And cab rides, in the backseat. The front seat is definitely different.

While we handled most of those rides well, we did not with this one.

As we started around the first few roundabouts (of which they have an excess in this country) we began to feel a bit queasy, as we had two nights before when we had gone to a local pub, just out of walking reach, and had a fairly tasty, yet still disappointing meal. Roundabouts are funny things, if you have never experienced one...they take the place of stop lights...we're guessing.

What a roundabout looks like from the top.
So, how does it work?
Read: Roundabout Basics on Roundabout.net  
As we neared the "big road", following a series of roundabouts, I began to feel as though I might vomit. We, all, are terrified of vomiting...no matter the reason, and being queasy is enough to bring us to tears. We began to shift our feet uncomfortable and moan a bit, James instructed us not the vomit in the foot well. We could feel tears welling in our eyes. Seriously, we are that afraid of vomiting.

We turned off of the main road onto a country road ("dual carriageway") because James wanted to show us the countryside. As the day was turning to dusk we glided around the winding, obscenely narrow, roads of the English countryside. They were just barely wider than an alley, but with lanes in both directions and oncoming vehicles, even buses, approaching from what our brain read as the wrong side. Even at the moderate speed, which tends to be higher than that in America because many of the cars are made to take corners better here, so we're told, James elected to slow down as per our request, if just seemed too much. In any other situation we would have likely enjoyed it, we usually go GoKart racing for our birthday, some of us are a fan of driving fast, and corners; just not at the risk of throwing up.

We made a couple of stops, both on the way to his Nans house, and then on the way to the pub where we were to meet them for drinks after we had our dinner, so that we could get some fresh air, take a breather. It gave us a chance to take a couple beautiful photos though, so it kind of worked out for the best.

England Countryside, March 3, 2012
Winding roads of the England Countryside, March 3, 2012
A church in Suffolk County, England.
On the way home, with our stomach full of food, but not alcohol because we were afraid what that might do to us on the nearly hour car ride home, we discussed with James what might be the cause of our sudden car sickness, as we tried to control our nausea. We are always trying to locate and eliminate issues, whenever possible. Helps us deal with the bigger issues, and also enjoy life when we can. Plus, we have A LOT of driving in our near future where England is concerned. Gotta nip it in the bud.

We have never been car sick, for the most part, though a time or two Catherine (one of our alter persons/personalities) had gotten a little nauseous on short drives around the city where we used to live, when riding with Non-Bestie (TNB), something about the jerking motion of riding in a manual/clutch vehicle. But nothing like this. (The car James recently purchased is a manual)

After some contemplation we figured out what it must be. But how to explain...

Imagine you are about to be in car accident, recall, if you have ever been, how your stomach flip flops and drops. Now imagine that happening over and over as your brain tries to process what it perceives as continuous near accidents.

You see, our brain, our mind, when seeing oncoming traffic in the way we were seeing it, fails to interpret it as normal, so it's telling our body we are about to be in an accident and our stomach responds appropriately...over and over. Gag. Literally pale green.

Our mind in motion. We were in a very bad car accident in the past, and despite it being just over 7 years ago, we had spent several of those years in a state of paralyzed fear, refusing to drive outside of the city at the mere whisper of snow...meaning in the climate where we lived for seven years, there was a huge part of the year we refused to travel. There were two exceptions, which was once for Baby Brother's wedding, and we cried almost the entire 7 hours to the city where he held his nuptials, our of fear; and then again, for Grandpa's funeral a couple of years ago. Other than that our brain was so paralyzed from the trauma TOG (The Other Girl, our former core) never got us out of the city in the winter. And then a few years ago our car stopped working so we never really drove anywhere, preferring to bike and walk.

Flash forward to the acrobats in our stomach this weekend and we concluded that because our brain is freaking out about oncoming traffic, not interpreting it properly, it was making us motion sick. Now we have to work on training our brain that it's okay, by facing our fears (going for car rides and being a front seat passenger as much as we can), and working to rationalize the feeling we are getting, lest we vomit all the way along the 5 hours drive to Cumbria on this coming Friday night. James would not be pleased. Or maybe it's just me, and Catherine and I have a weak stomach when we're in charge.

Other than that our weekend was fairly calm, we just completed what should be the final paperwork on our house sale and sent it to post, hopefully that will be the end of it. We're not sure what we'd do without James, who did most of the work filling out the copious amounts of paperwork, including all the math work required for the revenue agency. Well, we know what we would do, be overwhelmed, panic and mess the whole thing up. If you ever buy foreign property, don't. It's ridiculously difficult for a layman to sell, down the road. What with all the stipulations for non-residents and tax issues...the paperwork was maddening, even for James, and he's a grown up. Ugg, so much work.

Today is Monday, and the weather is proper English wintry and miserable, grey, blustery, rainy, driving us beneath the covers with hopes of writing and art adventures for the day. We popped off to the grocery and plan to make a nice roast chicken for dinner (easy peasy, and that pre-dates Rachael-stupid-Ray). Another week is before us, with a glorious treat at the end, a trip to Cumbria and a visit with our friend Kerry.

So the "More" of this post (yea, you're like, "More?!" and didn't even read this far)...Ivy found a beautiful song we'd like to share, it's actually a song used for a motorcycle awareness and safety campaign in England right now...


Also, we'd like to share two new graphics designed on Sunday.

For the first design 'Jester Elite' we were not without inspiration and so we want to pay thanks to a fellow follower for being our weekend muse.
Follow @RummyLauded - we are a big fan of the tweets from this account.
A little fun.
And then, of course, a little nonsense we like to call 'Pelican Paradise'...even though we're not entirely sure it's a pelican, it's from a photo we took and played around with, we thought it cute, and it appeals to a couple of us. Wooo, children.

As usual our designs are available in our "shop" on CafePress, on loads of products. The graphic design/creative talent that oozes from Cafe Press, in general, is amazing. Any graphic t-shirts we buy from here forward will surly come from that site, there is some pretty unique stuff there. No, we're not an affiliate. We just like to help people find creative endeavors.



Thursday, February 9, 2012

A Shopping Adventure

[Imported from Our Frank Adventures because, well, we didn't write specifically for this blog today]
"So "adventure" might be an exaggeration...in your opinion, anyway. However when you're a size 8-10 US (10-12 UK). 5'11", with a shorter torso, longgg legs and arms, and wear a size 11-12 shoe (9-10 UK)...shopping becomes an adventure. 
Most of you can stop reading now because we're talking about shoes, and jackets...and marmalade." To read more... 
Taken on the walk home.