Saturday, February 8, 2014

This Does Have A Point

"I'm very leery about chiropractors" we said, sitting in the corner of the the examination room. We never wanted to resort to this, but after trying so much, after so many years, the pain just won't go away.

We finally have affordable healthcare, and chiropractic care is covered. As a student we fall into a certain demographic. Sorry, Republicans, we work in the summer, and flourish as "a" full-time "mature student" with physical and mental health issues...just hoping to get the education you require to get a better paying job so we don't have to be a "burden" your precious pocketbook (don't worry, aside from grants for school, we're not suckling at any of your other social service teats). A culinary arts degree (which we have) is worthless in this country, to make an actual living, if you don't live in the right city...never mind the physical limitations that make it nearly impossible to pursue. (You probably don't even understand how much not being able to cook for a living can crush you when it's the only passion you've ever known.)

We've had sporadic massage therapy over the last many years since the car accident, to relieve the pain from all of the permanent physical damage caused. Over the years, generally, the only things we've been told about chiropractors is that they do more bad than good, they make you "dependent". Being dependent is not our modus operandi, so we've tried a lot of things to relieve the pain (exercise, physical therapy, drugs, alcohol, massage therapy, massage chairs...all at different times and variances - some might say just a different kind of dependency).

Thursday we finally met with a chiropractor. This being a small town there is only one. She was...really nice. Amazing, actually, considering how many times we not-so-subtly mentioned we don't exactly feel comfortable with, or trust, people in her profession.
"You make people 'dependent'", is what we said.
"I hear that a lot." she said, "But what I do is make people realize what 'good' feels like, and once people learn what 'good' feels like, and they don't feel good anymore, they come back".
Well, it was hard to argue with.

She did really unnerving things to our body...

At one point she couldn't do whatever it is that her people do to necks because working her way to the top alerted all of the instincts. SHE'S GOING TO SNAP OUR NECK! WE'LL DIE!
Nobody can relax after that...

But everything else she was able to do...
She did things that make us giggle in the strange way that getting shots, blood drawn, and glaucoma tests make us respond. It's really embarrassing, the giggling. Snapping, cracking...oy...and then the giggling.

Now that it's over, skeptical, as always...we'll wait to see what happens...(there's another appointment scheduled for Tuesday). [though, we woke up feeling a bit different than usual this morning...a little more "fluid" in motion...while it didn't last all day, it was something.]

It might take awhile...all of the tightness in our muscles, all of the spinal and disk issues that have been persisting for years now, has caused the inner-workings of this body to work insufficiently. What must it be like to be relatively pain free? The memory doesn't even exist.

"Usually when I mention this pain people say 'Oh, you're just getting old, that's normal'", I say. "Is this how people in their early 30's feel? Because when I hear this I feel like screaming "THEN WHY ISN'T EVERYBODY ANGRY ALL OF THE TIME?!".

She laughs. She has had her hands on our body. She had expressed concern that we've, I've, had to deal with all the things she had felt in our muscles and around our spine.

"...'Why doesn't everybody else have anger issues?!" she laughs again ", it's not normal for your age.", she says.

She says that at 50 or 60 years of age it could be pretty bad, but this bad at this age shouldn't be a reality.

Our muscles are unnaturally tight, inflamed and tender from compensating for injuries that went too long before they were attended to (thanks to being "lost" or '"neglected" too long in a healthcare system, in more than once country). The body finds a way, but it's not always a productive or healthy way.

It'll be interesting to see if this new "therapy" will work. We don't even remember what it feels like to be pain-free in anymore (this December will be 10 years since the accident). If this new therapy doesn't work, it doesn't...but we'll still keep on striving to not be some stereotype by some matter how much pain we're in.

This story has no real point...other than to illustrate many things about people who some might be considered a leech on society, and some might consider overreacting about the physical pain they suffer.

Maybe this does have a point. Maybe the point is that you shouldn't judge people just because they're on a "social assistance" of some sort, just because you can't see or understand anything outside of your own experience. Just because you don't know how to feel sympathy or empathy, doesn't make you right. It actually makes you a pretty big asshole.

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