Saturday, November 12, 2011

Frank Skins A Deer

**We'll say it because, well...there are some people who will find this offensive...this is a real dead deer...there are scenes of blood...(no real good ones of course). If you are offended by the practices of hunting/the procedure of processing animals please do not watch the video, rather we suggest you read the entry from a couple of days ago: http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/2011/11/cooking-with-frank-venison-tenderloin.html...or anything else on this blog**

Yeah, so....we never did edit it (like we mentioned in the last few days of posts) - sometimes it's hard to keep on task and get anything done.

The audio was stripped away because The Mother was yapping in the background, and we were bitching about and/or saying stupid shit while lost in our own happy knife wielding world.


Why the outfit? Well, aside from the apron and the (duck) hunting "ski" mask, it's what we were wearing...together it looks ridiculous, we realize that. We also don't care. We hate doing laundry.


It was a small deer by any account, but wasn't exactly a (baby) Bambie
...and so, for fun, because *giggles* they said "Twitterpated"...

Yeah, we're sick, posting these two in the same blog entry.

We're okay with who we all are...and this is just some of us. Sick smart ass that we are today (often).

...and *gag* Disney...he was an evil evil man with many brilliant and mistreated people working beneath him.

~Frank et al 

Friday, November 11, 2011

A Random Friday Post

See...how random is that chicken wearing a Sombrero?
It's Friday...we (Frank) wrote this morning but didn't get done with the entry, hopefully it'll be finished by the end of the weekend; and apparently the video The Boyfriend is editing, of us skinning the deer, needs our "assistance"...but this picture was gleaned from it. It's not the greatest, we wanted an orange (real deer hunting colors) ski mask, but we got this duck hunting colored one instead.
Um....for sexier pics you can go here: http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/p/pieces-of-frank-projects-in-photography.html - because...we know (the sexist part is the hunting knife in our hand).

Aside from writing we finished cutting up that deer (http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/2011/11/skin-off-deers-back.html), having de-boned it last night, and finished cleaning it today, putting the jerky worthy slices to marinate until tomorrow (in a little soy sauce, fresh garlic, a LOT of Worcestershire, and some brown sugar)...we'll put it in the food dehydrator (The Mother has a big with over 20 strays, and a butcher-block top) in the morning, and within 24 hours we'll have venison jerky. Next week we'll grind the deer and make a different kind of jerky.

From one small female deer we netted about 3.5 gallons of venison stock, a 5 gallon pail of bits to grind, a 5 gallon pail of stew bits, two tenderloins which we immediately made for dinner on Wednesday (http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/2011/11/cooking-with-frank-venison-tenderloin.html) and what else? That may be it.

Today we started the Google Map for our "#2012StabbingTour" (the adventure we wrote about at the beginning of Septemeber http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/2011/09/our-new-adventure-decison-is-made.html)....details which will be added to the above page tabs titled 'Our 2012 Adventure Plans' http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/p/our-2012-adventure-plans.html (a new page addition to our blog).

So, there you have it. We accomplished a lot of nothing today, which is generally how it goes around here.

Happy Friday night, friends, family, readers, followers, and more....

~Frank et al

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Cooking With Frank - Venison Tenderloin

Venison stock currently on the simmer
Here's what...we're exhausted.
Aside from errands today w
e cleaned half the deer (the one we wrote about yesterday), prepped bits for grinding, bits for stewing, started some venison stock with the ribs, with one front leg and shoulder blade of the doe - we didn't mention yesterday, but it was a "lady" (doe) deer - and we'll make more stock tomorrow, to put in the freezer for winter. We wanted to take a crack at some venison headcheese...but our deer arrived with no head.
Chunks of deer for grinding
and stewing
Tomorrow we have to take the hind quarters and finish prepping it for more grinding, more stewing AND some jerky (we LOVE jerky).

Also, from that pretty little deer came two delicate tenderloins (those are the big strips of meat that are each side of the spine)...






This is what we made with the tenderloins:

  • Roasted Venison Tenderloin with a Brandy Sauce Reduction
  • Mushroom Wild Rice Stuffing with Cranberries and Apricots
  • Pan Seared Zucchini Batonettes
  • Baked Butternut Squash

We used to own a catering company...which will be mentioned on some upcoming stories to finish off our history. One of the things our catering company focused on was seasonal and local foods. Why? Seasonal and local are by far the best tasting foods...it has nothing to do with the transportation/environmental impact of using local foods...often times buying local can mean more fuel costs, and equal environmental impact - but we can write more on that later. 

So why local and seasonal as a catering concept, or as an eating practice? Well...local means less manufacturing, purer food, possibly less chemicals, and it means seasonal...which is the best tasting fruits, vegetables and meats you will ever experience. L
ocal and seasonal doesn't have to be some hippy, tree hugging crap...it can be purely selfish; why eat unless it tastes like the best thing you can put in your mouth?! So, our menu tonight was crammed with seasonal items: wild rice (technically) venison, squash, zucchini...all seasonal, all local...even dessert was seasonal tonight.

So, what to say? We don't have recipes for this...which means we have too much of the wild rice stuffing...and Angry Brother, who sent the deer over to us for "processing", which is the skinning, and cleaning of excess fat, and silverskin (
white/silvery colored connective tissue attached to various pieces of meat that make it tougher to chew after being cooked), after he scored it at hunting camp this week (he didn't shoot it himself) will get a nice plate of leftovers brought to work tomorrow.

If you are ever wondering what to do with leftover stuffing (whether it be wild rice or bread stuffing), here's what we're going to do; tomorrow morning we'll add an egg to some of it, and some panko crumbs, and fry a little stuffing patty, and on the side, sunny side up eggs and maybe some yogurt. Waste not want, want not...it's all about the evolution of leftovers.why waste food when you can use it to be creative? 


Another example, from tonight:


"What can I do with these raisins? They're too damn dry to eat?", The Mother said, as she was digging through one of her 
cupboards...

Our suggestion was to soak them in brandy, then make a bread pudding out of them. Yum. Now I wish we'd made bread pudding for dessert tonight...


Dessert is about done now though. We won't post the picture here, we'll be posting it on Facebook (maybe), you know...where food pictures belong...


We made a brandy-caramel apple crumble with 
whipped topping..

Oh, and that video of us processing the deer from the start, that we mentioned in yesterday's post (
 http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.com/2011/11/skin-off-deers-back.html)? The Boyfriend, James, will have it done by tomorrow's post...where we'll do another entry about wild game. 'Tis the season.

~Frank et al

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Skin Off A Deer's Back.

This week, in honour of deer hunting season, we’ll be posting some recipes, info, tips, etc…in addition to whatever else we/I come up with (finishing my required therapy writing)...if we stay on task.

James, The Boyfriend, is editing the video of us skinning a deer as we write…hopefully we'll get it in at the bottom of this entry.

Why deer hunting season? Who cares?? Why kill animals? Why a video? Why...why...why. So full of questions, aren't you?

Tell you what, growing up it was one of the only ways we got to eat meat, aside from raising animals to kill and eat; it’s what you do when you’re poor and you live in the country - or, you like to kill animals…but we come from a family of meat eaters and we used everything we could - we practiced sustainable living before it was "fashionable", out of survival.

Growing up farm-poor teaches you things, growing up with a mother that runs a health food store on the farm where you like, who is knowledgeable in nutrition, tends to force you to learn some basics in nutrition; which probably attributes to our eventual interest, and the year-and-a-half of University education before Culinary School, in the subject of Human Nutrition.

We’re no strangers to the ways of killing and dismembering animals; from childhood, to culinary school…we know how to kill a rabbit without a gun (hit it in the head with a hammer, hang it upside down, incisions at the ankles, strip it’s fur from the back legs to the head…), and chickens…we know what the literal meaning of “running around like a chicken with its head cut off” looks like. They used to chase our horses with no heads. We know how to cut a bison into primal cuts and more.
A variation of the poster we used to have hanging on our office wall, which is now in storage, sadly, that shows cuts of beef, which are similar to venison (wild games such as deer).
...we know how to skin a deer… we know how to gut a sheep, kill a pig…we’ve seen the disgusting ways they process dead chickens for mass production, how they inhumanly kill a cow at a factory slaughterhouse.
If you eat meat from the grocery store, from a nice cellophane packages, but turn your nose down (or up) at hunters (real ones, not sports hunters) then we can have a discussion with you about how fair it is to take a cow that's been raised in a pen packed with other cows, standing in it's own filth, shoving it into a semi-truck until it arrives at a factory where it get's a stun gun to the head...that doesn't always work. Or an electric shock. Google it (we saw videos and factory floors as part of our culinary education), it's appalling.

We grew up poor, on a farm (as some of the stories of our past, located on this blog, mention) outside a very small town in the United States during the 80s’…and as such we learned things city kids don’t. We learned to appreciate what food is, where it comes from, and what it should
really taste like. The Mother grew a huge garden so we had food in the summer, and canned the excess so we could eat through the winter. Without these things, things people think are strange, or disgusting, we’d never have survived. It’s an appreciation, no matter how unpleasant our childhood was, in many ways, that we cannot imagine being without.

Is it any wonder we have such a passion for food? Some of us anyway…some of us are so passionate for it that it borders on an obsession…like with me.

This week, all going to plan, we hope to make some venison stock, cut up parts of that deer I skinned tonight to make stewing beef and jerky. We’re making venison tenderloin tomorrow night with something involving mushrooms…jury is still out on exactly what, but we have ideas…our only disappointment is that the deer didn’t arrive with at least it’s heart…but we’ll be getting one, The Mother said she’d get us one from her hunting party.

So, okay, why the video of us skinning a deer? (still in editing...it's not "gruesome" or anything...promise...and we're sorry)

Well aside from tweeting about it the last two days, we’re Frankie The Blade – just a fun nickname the came out of nowhere and was part of our “Halloween costume” avi competition – so why not do something fun involving a knife and a dead animal (that we are going to utilize every part we got, except the hide)? The video is for our pal @T0MFooL3RY…if editing goes as planned…”I am ButcherFoolery”, because we’re no Tom, will be up before long…we hope we didn’t disappoint him by not saying we’re him. 

Tom has a YouTube channel http://www.youtube.com/user/T0MFooL3RY where he collects ...Foolery you should check out, where he collects videos from Twitter followers.

Well, we made it to the end of writing, but The Boyfriend still hasn't figured out how to edit the video...so while I write tomorrow I'll chain him to a chair and make him finish it. He likes to be chained up, but first I'm going to force him to play video games and watch Food Network.

~Frank

Other food and cooking related posts we've done:
Why do we write strange shit? Because we can, and because we have to...and what business is it of yours...if you don't like our blog, don't come back. No skin off of our back...though it might be off of yours...*wink*

Monday, November 7, 2011

My Not So Random Return

I don’t have a lot to say today. I’m back, which is nice. Who knows how long it will last. James is pretty happy, he figured he wouldn't be seeing me again until after we left The Mothers house in January, when we set out for a couple of months in Europe/The UK.

He gets so soppy (that’s our/his word for romantic) whenever I am around. Today I told him that if he cries I’d punch him in the stomach, it seemed to keep his tears at bay. He's such a beautiful man for putting up with some of the bullshit some of the Others put him through. But as he is fond of saying "It's a good job you're pretty", always with a happy grin.

I imagine I am back because I have some writing to do (none of us have been able to figure out what triggers all of us, only some of us), and they (the Others) need my assistance since I am one who carries some key memories of the last couple of years, particularly the last year. They have been having a difficult time writing the final portions of our life story (found over there to the left under ☟THE CHAPTERS OF FRANK/HOW WE CAME TO BE US/ADDRESSING WE☟ Now located here: http://just-call-me-frank.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/stories-of-us.html)...and it needs to be done before the end of the year. 

There isn’t much to say today. While driving around a bit this afternoon we came upon a pink Ford Ecoline…the type of van we plan to use to travel the United States starting in the spring. I squealed with delight when I saw it parked in the dealer lot…the price is right, and it's in great shape...but it’s too soon to purchase it, given the house is still in market transition...but if it stays long enough...

"I can't wait to be seen driving a pink van", James stated, but we know he's actually pretty excited at the idea, probably he would prefer it to be blue, or green...

It did give us a great idea for the trip, if we find a white one in as good condition…it’d be awesome to have a pink van (or one that has some colour), and put big flower decals on it, or bullet holes...or slash marks...and just make it awesome, because why not (we'll be living in for a year, after all). It'd be easy to locate in those WalMart parking lots we plan on hooking into (*rolls eyes in disgust*)

Ivy would love it, she could have her pseudo-hippy experience complete with flowers (potentially) all over the van, which was actually The Father's idea - a bit of joke of course, but he knows parts of us; and traveling the USA in a van (granted it's no VW van...), and camping/staying at campgrounds just sounds like a relatively inexpensive but great adventure for us to write about. Don’t you think?

We’re starting to approach the planning stages, like acquiring a generator so we can run the laptops (and the coffeemaker, mus'nt forget the coffeemaker...) from any location. We’ve got the mobile hotspot device purchased so we can get a plan for wireless coverage all over the United States...without a phone/texting plan, because honestly...who uses a phone as a phone anymore? Not us.

It’s a nice diversion, planning this trip, but it’s going to have to hit a back burner for a bit, and I’m going to need to carve out a chunk of precious time to focus on writing…in case anyone wonders about our intermittent absences in the next weeks...hopefully we can work together, and write fast, because we tend to miss out friends who exist on Twitter...and Thanksgiving is right around the corner.

Cheers, for now…I have a deer to skin pretty soon (yes, James will be making a video of it...)
~Frank